Productive Sunday

Katie,

At least productive in the exercise sense.  I have so much homework I haven't even looked at it's not even funnnnny how much.  OMG my heart just started pounding so hard cause I'm freaking out about it.  Can that count as cardio?  Anyway.....I really got those calories burning today.  Went to the gym this morning... did 30 minutes on the treadmill (1 mile) and ran for 4 minutes.  Woohoo.  My goal for next week is run 5 minutes at least two days.  Then I did 5 minutes each on the inner and outter thigh machine.  Then I tried to do the bike... but apparently even on the lowest setting the seat is still too high for my legs to reach the pedals all the way.  I swear I have the shortest legs of anyone ever.  Then I did 3 sets of 10 reps of squatting with a medicine ball (pushing the 8lb ball out from my chest on the squat).  Then I did 100 crunches.  It was nice out today so I decided to walk to work (2.1 miles) and then got out earlier than I thought so decided to walk back (another 2.1 miles!)  So I walked over 5 miles today.  Woohoo.  Oh... and I got on the scale with my shoes (which I looked up online weigh only one pound) and it said 148.5 so that means I weigh 147.5...  but I'm gonna say I can subtract the .5 for my clothes and sweat so I'm down to 147.  Woohoo.  Well no woohoo.  I thought I would have lost like 10lbs by this point.  Grrr.  Frustrating.

What I ate:

Breakfast

-South Beach protein Cinnamon Raisin 140 cal

-Activia Light 70 cal

Lunch

-Grilled chicken with broccoli on a whole wheat pita

Dinner

-Amy's Organic Veg Lasagna 310 cal

Snack 

-Rice Krispie treat

-Some wheat thins reduced fat probably 100 cal worth

-Handful of raisins

My roommate wants to go to the gym with me.  This bothers me.  I know it shouldn't.  I know I'm weird.  But I just like going by myself.  It's like my thing.  And I have a routine going.  And I don't want to have to like watch someone else and worry about what they're doing.  I want the gym to be all mine.  But I got her a guest pass and she wants to go Saturday and freakin 9am.  Hopefully I'll be working early and won't be able to go with her.  I'm so messed up.  Maybe I don't have to go with her in order for her to use the guest pass.  

Again... thank you for all your kind words.  I would NOT have been able to be doing all this without you.  And I can't imagine my life without the gym right now.  I would be even more miserable than I already am.  Oh my God I can't even imagine how miserable I would be.  And I'd be fat(ter) and tired all the time.  Ew. I feel like you really understand me on all levels which is cool because nothing about me make any sense... ever.  So... thank you thank you thank you.  I was also considered mildly depressed and put on meds like my senior year of college.  They made me feel way way worse and it was a real low point.  The thing is... since breaking up with M and moving to Harlem I have been the happiest I've been in a long long long time maybe since high school (not including London cause... heeello.)  Like up until two weeks ago I was smiling everywhere I went and felt really satisfied with life.  I felt happy for the first time in a really long time.  I don't know what happened since then.  The thing is... NOTHING'S happened.  There's really no reason for it.  I'm really hoping it's my hormones.  I'm bloated and gassy and really feel like I am having a period and not bleeding.  When I've gone to doctors about it in the past they always had told me to start exercising and that could bring on and regulate my period but I never did.  So I thought since now I'm getting in shape it would be brought on.  I have tried EVERYTHING to bring it on... you wouldn't even believe what I've tried and I'm not even sure I would tell you or anyone else.  Now of course you're going to ask me and I'm going to have to tell you.  Dammit... I should just delete all that.  But I won't.  Because this is a 100% honest place.  Shit.  Anyway I'm going to the gyno during spring break.  I'll talk to him about it (by the way... my gyno is HOT!  Isn't that fucked up?  I looooove going!)  I didn't want to go on the pill if I'm not sexually active but if I have to... I will.  I can't take this anymore.  It can't be situational because you don't break down crying in the middle of the gym... and when the security guard at your school asks to see your ID when you just went on for a minute and see her every single day... like that doesn't make sense.  Nothing has changed within the past few weeks.  Although I did go out a few weekends with my Fairy peeps... and haven't in like two weeks... so having no trace of a social life can't be helping.  I'm trying to remedy that but I mean... New York is the hardest place to make friends and I'm like the oldest person in my dorm and the youngest person in all my classes and at work I only see 8 and 4 year olds so... it's rough.

So the reason I said we should go on a trip in the winter is because I was planning on going somewhere for Memorial Day and am currently raising the funds.  Some place I'd be wearing a bathing suit... which will hopefully be a bikini...maybe at a lake house...some Confederate flags...people saying ya'll.....maybe a peach or two.....................................................................................

:-)

Kate