Went to the gym this morning. Did a Tummy Tuck and Butt Lift class. It was a new teacher. At first I thought she sucked but I'm sore and I haven't been sore in a while so now I'm thinking she doesn't suck so much. She also explained how to do a proper crunch. Pick a spot on the ceiling to look at and then lift your head up towards that spot... not up towards your knees. You'll for sure feel it more.
I'm thinking I'm not doing enough at the gym. I don't think an hour three days a week is enough. I'm going to try and start doing two hours. I am excited to come see you and all but like I almost can't be totally excited because I really want to be happy with what I look like. And I'm not happy with myself right now. And I'm not happy with the fact that I haven't even lost FIVE pounds since we started this!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh God that makes me want to cry. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?????? THREE LOUSY POUNDS??????? Ew that makes me feel so bad about myself. I'm working hard... I could be working harder. WHY AM I NOT LOSING WEIGHT???? I'm eating right... I'm exercising... FUCK this is frustrating.
What did I eat today
Breakfast
South Beach bar 140 cal
(Nooooooooooo Ron gained three pounds!!!!!)
Lunch
Wheat Thins 116 cal
Amy's Organic Indian burrito thing 270 cal
Orange
Banana
Snack
Yogurt smoothie 70 cal
Carrots and low fat ranch dip 80 cal
Dinner
Two grilled chicken breasts
Mushroom barely risotto ala Fresh Direct
I'm depressed. I feel like I've been giving myself too much credit for what I've been doing. It obviously hasn't been that great if all I have to show for it is 3lbs. And I'm still up one pound from when I finished the cleanse. I feel like I talked this big game and I don't have anything to show for it. I feel like when my family sees me in a week they're gonna be like "We thought you said you lost weight... you look the same to me." Three fucking pounds. That's some bull shit.
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