Happy Birthday, Katie!

Breakfast:

-Orange

-Yogurt (90 cal) w/ granola

-Bagel (150 cal)

-1/3 fat cream cheese

Snack

-Orange

Lunch

-Smart Ones Chicken Parmesan (290 cal)

-Granola bar (90 cal)

Dinner

-Salad with grilled chicken broccoli and cucumbers... 2 tbsp thousand island dressing

Probably ate more but forgot...  this marks the end of slacking on the posts

We can't slack on these posts

Katie,

Seriously.  People fail because they don't stick to things.  I know we've both been having a hard time, with not seeing results, but we can't let this blog go.  And I know you don't want to write down what you've been eating cause it's not necessarily what you should be eating... but that's the whole point of this.  It's better to feel bad while writing out the bad stuff that you ate and then hopefully not eating those bad things again instead of not realizing and owning up to what you're doing and just continuing with the bad behavior.  I'm not saying this just for you it goes for me as well.

I'm sick and Top Chef is on and I have to stand up to write this so it'll be short...  but I'm sticking to this blog with full loyalty.

Okay I actually remember what I ate the past three days cause it was so little (which is bad) but I honestly couldn't afford lunch either days... how sad is that.

Monday: 

Breakfast

Total Cereal with skim milk

Light and Fit Yogurt

Dinner

Half of the remaining roti dinner from Sunday and the rest of the fries

Oh yea and the M&Ms I've been stashing

Tuesday:

Breakfast

Oatmeal

Orange

One Wassa cracker

Dinner

Rest of Sunday's dinner

Ramen (agh I really didn't want to eat the Ramen but I needed to take medicine so needed a full stomach and it helped with my throat cause it hurts)

Today:

Breakfast

Wheat bagel with reduced fat salmon cc

Lunch

Progresso split pea soup (1/2 can I need to check the calories)

Some Club Crackers... probably like 6 of them... again I'll check the cal)

1/2 orange (it tasted chemically so I threw the rest out)

Dinner

Amy's organic lasagna (250ish cal)

I'll add if I eat more tonight

I went to the gym today... but only the weigh myself.  And I don't get it.  When I moved the big 150 thing it said it was too heavy and I was like WOOHOO but then I moved the big one to the 100 and the little one to 149 and it was too light.....  so am I still 150?  Well actually not still cause that would mean I lost a pound.  But is it 149 or 150 I'm confused.

I really felt discouraged.  I thought I would have lost at least three pounds.  I did a lot of exercise last week and ate pretty well (although I think I ate too much...) so I don't know.  Well 2lbs a week is considered the healthy good pace to lose... but still...  I thought it'd be more.

Don't be discouraged.  Don't let this blog go.  Don't stop... believing.  Hold on to that feeling.  Street light.  Peopleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. 

Seriously.  Don't let me down.  Don't let yourself down.  Let's keep on keepin' on.

We CAN do this (Obama said so)

-Kate

PS Happy almost birthday!

Weight Loss with Extra Benefits
Overweight women with low calcium intakes had bigger improvements in cholesterol when they added a calcium+D supplement to their low-cal diets -- regardless of how little or how much body fat they shed. Why? It's possible that calcium helps curb the body's absorption of saturated fat, which in turn may help lower both total and LDL (bad) cholesterol.


Just read this. It's weird bc tonight I was just thinking about how I need to start taking calcium again.

Draggin along..

Kate,

Do you ever accidently write your name when you meant to write mine? Yeah, me too.

Anyway, not very proud of myself. Tired. Short blog day.

What I ate:
Breakfast:
- Big bowl of mulitgrain cheerios

Lunch:
- Can of light progresso soup. It tasted like nothing.
- Small bag of baked ruffles.
- Fiber one bar

Dinner:
- Lean pocket
- Too many pita chips
- Grapes
- Pack of mini oreos
- 2 friggin pieces of dove chocolates
- Some cashews

Whatever. Weekends are really shitty for eating well. I froze some yogurt, so I'm going to try that tomorrow to get my sweet fix. Is there a way to desensitize a sweet tooth? Ugh. And yeah, I didn't post what I ate last night for dinner.. It was bad. Homemade mac & cheese (if you thought the kraft kind was bad for you..), a piece of white french bread, bag of baked ruffles.. all carbs. Bad carbs. But I made milkshakes with the kids I babysat last night and I only had a little sip. That was haaaard. The spell check is on on the computer I'm using and it's so annoying. I'm in my aunt's big house alone and it's a little scary. And not just because of her full pantry..

Today I completed my four days of working out (I also worked out on Fri for 20 mins) . I did 60 mins on the treadmill. Burned 500 calories and 3.5 miles. The girl beside me got off at 35 mins and burned 159 cal. I remembered her numbers and so I could take note of how many I burned at 35 mins.. It was 320 cal! That's like 160 cal difference. That was pretty cool.

Yesterday was a tough gym day. I did 40 mins on the treadmill, 4 mins running, and then decided to switch it up (I forgot my headphones so no tv on the treadmill. SO boring.) I got on the stairclimber thingy. Wow, big mistake. I did it on level 6 (6 of 20 levels, so not very difficult, right?) for only 5 mins. It was so bad. I got off after the 5 mins and felt like I was going to pass out. And when sat down, I could feel my pulse in every part of my body, like my heart was going to explode. I even felt it in my face. And the worst part? It said I only burned 50 calories. 17 floors and 50 calories? I don't think so. Not for that much sweat. Ok, enough about the devil's exercise equipment.

Goals for this week:
- 200 crunches everyday. I'm sick of seeing what I'm going to look like when I'm 6 mos pregnant.
- Get the sweets under control. But my bday is on Thurs, so this day is a free day, damnit.
- Workout (at least) 4 days, like usual.
- Add more veggies in my meals.
- And stop eating late. I'm gonna say no eating after 9 also. I usually workout late, so this might be hard. I just need to stop my endless snacking sessions after dinner.

Well, so much for the small post. I'm not going to be to super down on myself for my bad weekend, bc at least I'm working out and becoming more aware of what I'm eating (and what I shouldn't be eating.)

Here's to us being too skinny,
Katie

Afraid to get on scale tomorrow

Katie,

My brain still hurts from yesterday.  Two exams x four hours each = not fun.  But even though I was kind of thinking I would be easy on myself and not concentrate so much on what I was eating but just focusing on getting myself through the tests...  but I actually did really well yesterday!  But then today... I made up for it.

So I got lost coming off the subway after the test and ended up walking about 2 miles.  So that was good.

Yesterday (Saturday) I ate:

Breakfast

-2 packets of oatmeal (260 cal)

- Apple

Lunch

- 6 inch grilled chicken sandwich with provolone, peppers and oil and vinegar from Subway

-Orange

Dinner

- 6 inch of the Subway sandwich

Then I somehow managed to not fall asleep and forced myself to have some kind of social life and went to karaoke with my Hair Fairies peeps.  And had 4 Bud Lights.  I could have had like 10... but ran out of cash.  

Today I ate:

Breakfast

-Amy's organic enchiladas (250 cal)

Lunch

(was going to have kraft mac and cheese but didn't...cause at first it said 410 cal but then I realized that was per serving and there are 3 servings in the box!  Then I still kind of wanted it but the thought disgusted me... I was proud... eating that shit used to be nothing to me)

- Whole wheat pita (110 cal) with some chicken salad I stole from one of my suitemates I don't know which (btw the pita was moldy and the chicken salad was 4 days past the sell by date....  maybe I'll get sick and throw up and lose a pound)

Dinner (here's where I'm bad)

-Soy Chicken Roti  (which even though it's vegan it seems fattening)

-Chick peas 

Only ate half of that meal so yay I don't have to buy dinner tomorrow!

-French Fries (I only ate 1/4 of the container... 1/2 fell in the garbage...no joke I felt like it was a sign to stop eating them... so I saved 1/4 for a french fry moment this week)

-3 fried eggplant fritters

You know the day after you drink you crave fried food?  So that's what happened.  And since I danced to karaoke for hours and walked 2 miles and went through the hell of the tests and ate really well yesterday I'm okay with my fried food decisions.  

Now... the Oscars...  I could win 300 bucks!  Which would buy me like two days worth of groceries (not really but DAMN this is rough).

I have M&M's I bought the other day and can't stop thinking about them.  I don't even want them or feel the need for chocolate...  it's just that they're there... taunting  me.

Planning on doing gym tomorrow...but I have to have to have to go to my friend's house to do math all day.  Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Oh goals for the up coming week:

1. No cigarettes!

2. No weed!  (can't do either really cause I'm broke as a joke... and I don't think you can buy weed on a credit card yet)

3. Walk to and/or from work at least once this weekend

4. Make it to that class Triple Fat Burner class Friday morning!  And shoot for another class this week

5. Cut down on calories

6. Eat nothing after 9pm (I know that's late but I get home from class until 7:45 except for tomorrow I get home after 10 so tomorrow probably won't count for this goal)

7.  Gym 4x

8. Be more aware of my caloric intake.  I want to have about 1000 and 1500 calories a day.

One,

Kate

Kate,

So yesterday (Fri) I worked out for 30 mins. I won't count that as a part of my 4 days, bc it wasn't enough gym time. Right now I'm shoving food in my mouth while I type. Pathetic.

Yesterday's eatins':

Breakfast:
- 3 Wasa crackers with r.fat pbutter

Lunch:
(lunch kinda wasn't a real lunch)
- Pita chips with cheese spread. The spread was in my aunt's fridge, and the label was gone. I'm sure it's full of sat. fat, so I'm going to stop eating that. Right now. Because I was just eating that. Again.
- Handful of cashews.

Pre-workout snack:
- Bowl of Cheerios w/ skim milk

Dinner:
- Turkey and ham subway sandwich
- Bag of Sunchips

And... oh God. .. here we go..

2 bite sized twix, two bite sized kitkats, about 8 peanut m&ms, and a handful of goldfish. I think I need to have my brain checked.. .. for a sugar chemical imbalance. I hated myself afterwards. And I was so full I felt like I was going to vomit.

Today, we made a big breakfast at my aunt's house. Oh, by the way , the cereal count is 8. They have eight boxes of cereal. Crazy.

Breakfast:
- 3 medium sized fiber one pancakes with low cal syrup and a little bit of smart balance butter.
- 2 eggs, minus yolk, with velvetta cheese.

Lunch:
-no lunch, since it was a late breakfast, but I did just eat more pita chips and cheese spread. And a few chashews.

I'll update with dinner later. I'm babysitting, so it might be late. I'm about to go work out soon, so i'll also update you on that.

Feeling shitty

11:56am:  I woke up like a half hour ago and like immediately started crying.  I set my alarm (twice) to get up this morning for the class at the gym and it just wasn't happening.  Like I was so tired I couldn't get myself out of bed.  So I didn't go.  I'm really disappointed in myself.  I really wanted to do both the class and yoga today.  I promised myself I would.  And I didn't.  And now I feel like shit.  I am really depressed.  I don't know what it is.  I just did 40 sit ups though and am going to do another 60 today.  OMG all I want to do is stay in sweats in bed all day and cry.  

Another thing that added to me wanting to cry is my stomach is definitely bigger than from when I took the picture of myself on Monday.  I knew I would gain after the cleanse but I mean come on.  I've been working hard and eating not shit.  But I guess I haven't been working hard enough and eating too much.  I'm really down in the dumps.

7:21pm:  Just got off the phone with you and you made me feel a lot better.  I don't know why I'm feeling so bad about myself.  I feel like I could be doing more... but I mean I have improved myself so much in the past two weeks.  I can't believe I'm a gym goer.  And I can't believe I'm feeling this guilty about not going to the gym one day when I didn't feel bad about not going for like five years.  

What did I eat today?:

Breakfast:

-Oatmeal (130 cal)

-Orange

Lunch

-California veggie burger (130 cal)

-Whole wheat pita (110 cal)

-Light and Fit Yogurt (80 cal)

Dinner

-One piece grilled chicken

-About 1/3 cup mashed potatoes

-Orange

Uh oh... and

-Butterfinger (270 cal)

My suitemate has been barfing all day.  It would just be the story of my life if I got sick for my exams tomorrow.  But I'm kind of sick in the head because I'm secretly hoping to get sick on Sunday so then I'll lose a few pounds... that's wrong I shouldn't think like that.

I don't know what my eating situation is going to be tomorrow.  I kind of want to take advantage of being able to eat in my old stomping grounds.... then again I don't think I'll want to be there any longer than I have to because I had a breakdown the last time I was in a neighborhood with old memories... agh.  Depending on how exhausted I am and how cold it is outside I might go to where I used to live in Brooklyn to get my pad thai at Sea Asia (where when I used to call for food they would answer the phone 'Hello Katherine'... so obviously I ate there a lot)...  again if I'm not falling asleep and if it's not totally brick I could walk across the Brooklyn Bridge to get there.  We'll see.  

Agh I haaave to sleep now.

Kate

www.ilovepeanutbutter.com

Peanut Butter & Co. peanut butter is the best peanut butter of all peanut butters.  As you can see, I scraped the heck out of this sucker... all that's left is what wouldn't even go on the knife....believe me I tried... And its all natural.  And delicious.  It's not even funny how good this shit is.  You need to have this.  OMG I've been eating it on pink lady apples.  To...die...for...

The Attack of the Chocolate Monster and Other Scary Stories

I feel realllly bad for not working out today. Not like guilty, I just know I would feel better about myself if I had exercised. What a difference a week and a half makes. I'm not dreading going to gym like I used to. .. not going to go as far as to say I like it, but I'm not hating it anymore. It's weird. I'm just worried that soon I'm going to get sick of doing the treadmill. Maybe by then I'll start running-- Hey, a girl can dream.. .. or have nightmares is more like it.

So, no working out and this is what I ate. I had a bit of a fight with about a billion reduced fat Cheese Its, and they won. Well, I guess I won because I wasn't the one who got eaten.

Breakfast:
- Banana
- Pbutter toast

( handful of goldfish a little later)

Lunch:
- Lean pocket
- 1/3 apple (I decided I didn't like it a third of the way through it.)
- R. fat cheese its. I had a lot. Maybe 2 or 3 servings. That's the last time I bring the entire box with me. Huge mistake.
- 4 chunks of pinapple

Dinner:
- Salmon
- Whole grain rice (1 serving)
- Spinach salad w/ egg and 1 tbls of ceasar dressing

And the chocolate monster got to me. I had one small piece of my roommate's hazelnut choc bar (the one I gave her for her bday.. what a bad roomie I am) and a dark choc. lindt ball. So I had 2 pieces of chocolate.. But dark chocolate is good for your heart, damnit! And also in my defense, I have been soo good at not eating sweets for the past couple of days.. Well, there was the brownie on Tues.. But, today, there were kit kats, twix and everything else yummy in the two houses I babysit at. It was hard, but I refrained. I think I refrained bc I knew I was going to eat a piece of my roommate's chocolate. How pathetic is that? I was planning my next chocolate fix, hours in advance.

I'm working on it Kate, I really am!

On a brighter note, I woke up this morning feeling a bit trimmer. And when I was walking, I felt like my stomach was jiggling just a little less than normal. So that's good right?

-Katie

Update:
I'm a bad person. I can't stop eating. It's midnight and I just had a bowl of Cheerios, a bowl of Coco Peebles and a piece of chocolate. Wtf is wrong with me?!!? I need to get the Coco Pebbles out of my fucking apartment.. and not by eating them. Ugh! Okay, I'm going to make a cup of decaf tea. That'll help. But the tea pot is beside the area of contamination: the chocolate part of the counter. Just kidding. I'll just have tea. Promise.

I'm gonna have to stop eating cause I just can't afford it anymore

Katie-

I did not do so well today.  I woke up a little late (wanted to be at the gym by nine but woke up at lie 9:30) so I decided I would go to the gym this afternoon so that I could grocery shop and study a little but when I got to the store it didn't open for another hour so good thing I was all set for the gym cause that is across the street.  So I went there.  Ended up doing 30 minutes on treadmill, 6 of which were RUNNING... not all at once.. broken up 4 minutes and 2 minutes... but I was proud of myself because I was only shooting for 3 all together.  I did 3 sets of 10 on each arm with 10lbs for my biceps then 2 sets of 15 for my ...um... omg I don't know what they're called.  Like.. the fat part of your arm.  You know what I'm talking about.

So then I had to rush and take a shower and meet my mom and Grandma for lunch.  We at at this french restaurant and I wasn't that concerned with how bad I was eating cause I knew I would be making up for it by gym and yoga tomorrow.  Okay so here's what I had

Breakfast

-Banana

Lunch

-Crepe filled with chicken and portobella mushrooms with bechamel sauce and a salad with hardly any dressing

-Fruit parfait... although I really think it was just cool-whip.  With blueberries, strawberries and raspberries

Dinner

- Left over crepes and a tiny bit left of the salad 

- An orange

- Probably 1/3 cup of the holy peanut butter with an apple

- 100 calorie brownie

I'm shooting for the 9:15 Total Body Workout class that tore my abs apart last week.  And then I'm gonna study all day and go to the 4:30 yoga class.  I really really want to do both.  I have to.

K...  if you read this before I do it... I'm going to call you in a bit.

-Kate

Some funny

This made me laugh really, really hard. Too bad it's kinda true.

What the hell is up with this ad on our fucking blog??

Well, I couldn't post yesterday because I wasn't at home all day, so I had no computer access. Because of the not being at home, I also didn't go to the gym. I took a short walk, but that didn't count for anything.

After I babysat today at John's neighbor's, I went to his house for a bit. I was planning on leaving, and it started to storm. We turned to the news, and there were tornado warnings in our area. Then, there was one headed straight for us. We actually had to go to the basement and stay in this creepy back storage room made of stone that had no windows. After it passed, we went back upstairs to continue watching the best/worst show on tv, Rock of Love (it's sooo trashy, I love it!) When I was about to leave, more storms came, and I didn't end up leaving until like 8:30. By that time, I was like, okay I just don't have enough time to go to the gym. But when I got home, I made myself go.

Got to the gym at like 9 something and did my usual hill workout on the treadmill. About 10 mins into it, I started having bad stomach pains, so I decided to go to 20 mins and then stop. But a couple mins went by, and I realized my pains were gas pains. Let me just tell you, farting at the gym sucks. The only other people in there were 4 guys and they were at the other end of the gym lifting weights. But every once in a while, one would walk over to the water fountain.. and guess whose stinky treadmill is right beside the water fountain. .. yeah.

But anyway, after the gymfarts went away, I was fine, and kept going. I did 53 mins, 3.13 miles, and burned 457 cal. I'm really glad I stayed. I didn't want to come on here and tell you I did a half'-assed workout.

Here's what I ate yesterday (Tue)

Breakfast:
-1 bowl of Cheerios with skim milk
- 1/2 banana

Snack:
- Toast w/ pbutter (Tue-Thur I don't end up eating lunch til about 2:30, so this is the reason for this snack...)
- handful of goldfish

Lunch:
- Lean pocket
- R. fat cheese its
- small bowl of chunked pinapple and strawberries

(later I had, seriously, FOUR m&ms)

Dinner:
- Grilled chicken sandwich with mayo, tomato, and small amount of Italian blend cheese
- Spinach salad with healthy spin salad dressing (it's actually called spinach salad dressing.. weird) and alfalfa sprouts

AND... I ate a fucking brownie. You sooo knew I would. But it was so good. And not that big, I swear.

Today (Wed)
Breakfast:
-1 bowl of all bran yogurt cereal

Lunch:
- Lean pocket (I'm obsessed, obviously.)
- 1/2 apple
- About five pinapple chunks.
(then I had a handful of cookie crisp cereal .. about 100 cal)

Tornado Watching Snack:
- A few bites of a grilled chick sandwich
- A few bites of oatmeal.. both random, I know.

Dinner:
- 1 bowl of Cheerios after I worked out.
- And I'm about to eat some r.fat cheese its (I gotta work on the eating late thing too)

Damn that was long. But bc I knew I was going to miss yesterday's post, I wrote everything I ate down.

I'm house sitting at my aunt's from Fri-Wed. And they have such good food, so this weekend's going to be a challenge. They literally had 18 different boxes of cereal one time. It's crazy. I used to count their cereal everytime I went there.

Sorry this was so long.. and sorry I just added to the length!!
-Katie

Sleeepy

I'm exhausted and Top Chef is on so this will be a short one

I went to yoga again today.  I had to drag myself there but I went.  I stopped less times than I did the first time and I felt it get a little easier.  Oh and it wasn't Nandra again.  It was some gay guy that never introduced himself.  He was kind of bitchy.  Oh and there was this heftier woman next to me who didn't stop the whole time and it was her first time ever.  She made me feel bad about myself.

What I ate:

Breakfast:

- Oatmeal (130cal)

Lunch

- Spinach salad with one egg, broccoli, cauliflower and  grilled chicken and french dressing

-Banana

Dinner:

Agh I had to ruuuun to the cafeteria after class before it closed and grab something ANYTHING because I ran out of food today... didn't have time to get to the store or any other food place before class AND it was raining/sleeting out so it was really my only option... so all I could grab was a 

- Roast beef sandwich on whole grain roll with a little bit of bleu cheese (cheese not dressing)

- vegan noodles (I ate 1/2 container)

- Lite and Fit Yogurt

-1 Wassa cracker with some peanut butter on it

I'm not going to be able to go to yoga tomorrow.  I am crazy busy this week.  And I'm meeting my mom and Grandma for lunch like in the middle of the day (prime yoga time) so I'll go to the gym in the morning and do yoga Friday.  But I still really want to do the class Friday morning at the gym.  So maybe I'll do both Friday.

Okay I can't type anymore

Grrrrrr

Aghhhhh what an irritating ugly day.  I woke up and realized that not only did I have to take a photograph and then write about it... I had to read the text that I had to base it all on.  And then I realized I didn't have the book.  Then I realized I didn't have the two articles either.  Then I realized I was fucked.  

So I decided to pass on yoga today because my priority was to do my school work and knew that I wouldn't have enough time if I went to the only yoga class possible.  I could have gone to the one after class but heard that it was always jammed packed and realistically I wouldn't go.  So I went to the gym this morning.  I did 45 hardcore minutes on the treadmill.  I think I did 3 miles... maybe just under.  I burned over 300 calories and I ran fast for three minutes.  The whole time I was going really fast at an incline.  I was sweaaaaaating.  It elt really good.  I was trying to use my frustration and bitterness in the work out.  Oh yea... my bitterness came from the fact that before I worked out I got on the scale and learned that I had gained a pound.  I was so excited to finally not have to use that evil 150 slider but decided to start with it so I'd be even more excited when it told me that was too much so I'd have to slide it back.  But it didn't.  In fact... it was too light.  Agh it was horrible.  But I used it.  After the treadmill I did 3 sets of 20 on the chest and bicep machine...  then 3 sets of 15 (my arms were shaking) on the chest press (I think it's called) and then I did 3 sets of 10 with 10lb weights to work my biceps.  I want to look like I could kick someones ass... and actually be able to... but never have to utilize that ability.  I thought that maybe the scale was wrong the first time so I weighed myself again. When I got on this (I am not kidding) 3 foot 9 humpty dumpty of a woman started screaaaaming at me something in Spanish.  She was telling me that I have to go on it with my shoes on.  Whenever people talk to me in Spanish I always get thrown and understand what they're saying but forget how to respond.  So I did as best I could to say, "Oh, with my shoes on?" and she said yea but I just continued without my shoes because I wasn't about to put them on and take them off again.  Then I felt awkward and she started getting undressed so I bolted out of there.   Anyway it was still 151.  

I am watching the Biggest Loser btw.  I usually wait for a lazy Saturday when Bravo plays all the reruns in a row.  These shows always make me hungry.  I don't like this Jillian bitch.  I saw her on Kathy Griffin and she acted like Kathy should know who she was and she's no one.  She has a bitch face.  I am such a bitch... but so is she probably.

What did I eat today?

Breakfast (before gym):

- Pink Lady apple (you have GOT to get these)

Lunch:

- California Veggie Burger (what did I say it was 210 cal?)

-Whole wheat pita (110)

-Some carrots cut up in it (I don't count the calories of fruit and vegetables cause I need those)

-Some of that dill sauce... probably at most 50 calories

Snack:

-Orange

-Banana

-Lite and Fit yogurt

This amazed me cause my stomach was growling and this actually satisfied me... it's great

Dinner:  (My goal for next week should be to stop eating before a certain time.  It's not gonna work this week but this is something I HAVE to work on)

- Trader Joes Sweet and Sour Chicken... about 400 cal

- One of those chicken tenders (50 calories)

- 130 calories worth of french fries...  I had a weak moment and decided to make the serving size of these frozen french fries I had bought a while ago.  130 calories was like 10 fries.  That's sad.  

I did bad with dinner.  Ew I'm upset with myself over it.  I didn't have many options but I didn't have to have the chicken tender or the french fries.  I'm feeling guilty.  

I really really don't want to go to yoga tomorrow.  I knew if I skipped a day I wouldn't want to go back.  But I will.  Especially after tonight's dinner.  

And this totally doesn't give it justice but this is the hill to my place that I always talk about

It's because it curves that it looks less high than it is.  It may not look that big but it IS trust me.  Look at the cars to get a better idea .  I could only get part of it in the top pic because of the sun glare.  But that sucker goes way up like .25 mile. 

3 down, 17 to go!

Sooooo. I weighed myself today. Last Monday I weighed 154 and today I weighed 151. I know it's only 3lbs, and it's probably just water weight, or maybe I was just bloated when it said 154, but it made me feel really good to see a positive change!!

Today I also woke up really late. It was a lazy day of tv on dvd. Here's what I ate:

Lunch:

- Lean Pocket
- Reduced fat Cheese Its (I had a bit more than the serving size)
- 4 Wasa crackers with pbutter (I ate those about an hour before the lean pocket and cheese its)

Dinner:

My dinner was so good and healthy that it reminded me of something that they would list in US Weekly as what a celeb would eat on a post-baby diet. So, I took a picture of it. Ha.


Yeah, I'm a total dork.

It was:

- Baked Salmon and onions in olive oil (220 cal)
- Whole grain rice (I measured out the serving size of one cup: 220 cal)
- Spinach salad with boiled egg (minus yolk), 1 tbls of ceasar dressing and a reallly small amount of feta (total : 130 cal)
(total- 570 cal)

At the gym, I did 3.2 miles on the treadmill for 52 mins and I burned 450 cal. I burned off almost my entire dinner before I ate it!! (But I'm sooo probably going to eat a bowl of Cheerios in a little bit)

I can't believe how much this is helping. If we just did this over the phone, it just wouldn't be the same. Oh, and the yoga TOTALLY counts as gym time. You are crazy thinking that it wouldn't! I burned 450 cal in 50 min, and you are burning TWICE that.

Thanks, Nandra.

12:59pm:  I woke up an hour ago.  Messed up my plans.  I wanted to go to the gym in the morning and then do some homework then go to Bikram Yoga...  but now I'm spending the day watching tv and not going to the gym... but AM going to Yoga class at 4:30.  I am so tired today.  And I'm not really feeling too bad about not going to the gym because of the yoga.  One of my suitemates did it a couple of weeks ago and said you're supposed to burn 1000 calories a class.  I didn't believe her so I googled it and it's true (I believe everything google tells me).  It said I should burn 1056 calories.  So can the yoga classes count as the gym for this week?  I'm still going to try and go but time-wise it's gonna be hard.  

Oh yea...  I'm also taking pictures of my body on my fancy new Macbook.   (no... I'm not putting them here... they would short circuit the entire world wide web).  This way I can actually see weekly how my body is changing.  I already notice a BIG difference on my waist from where it was at my worst (I wish I took a picture before the cleanse).  I actually have my hour glass somewhat back... too bad I still have the paunch.  I can only take pics of my torso and upper thighs which is okay cause those are what I hate the most and want to see change the most.

I have the week off from work this weekend... I'm pushing myself even more to lose some kind of weight cause when I go back to work in two weeks I want the lady I babysit for to say that I look good.  Isn't that sad?  I really want it to come from her though cause she's my physical fitness hero.  I'm also going to look at calories more closely this week.  

7:57pm: I feel like it's 3 in the morning.  I'm exhausted.  And it's great.  I survived Bikram Yoga.  

I got to the studio (half mile there and back so I walked a mile woohoo) like a half hour early... met the instructor Nandra.  Of course her name was Nandra.  Then I filled out this form and one of the questions were 'ailments' and I wanted to put "uh everything' but I said that I had my breast surgery 5 years ago and still have pain so then she said that she'll be aware of that with me in the class and she's like "And then we're gonna do the blah blah blah which will probably hurt you" and she demonstrated the pose... putting any fear that my quick dry shave of my armpits this afternoon may have left some strays as she displayed the raccoons under her arms.  Oh yea...  at first I thought she was wearing a furry leopard headband but with further inspection I realized that it was her hair.  Imagine a thick band of short hair (not quite a mullet cause she has bangs) died blonde with brown leopard spots.  I can not imagine how that worked out.  Anyway she was nice.

So I went into the room like 20 minutes early after changing into my shorts and tanktop (which I wasn't so mortified to wear even though there were FDNY guys there because I definitely was not the fattiest fattie in the class).  At first I was like "It is definitely not 105 degrees in here." and almost upset cause I didn't think I would sweat anything and wouldn't get the full effect.  WRONG!  As soon as Nandra commenced I started pourrrrrrrring sweat.  Yea, I'll have the occasionally pit stains when I'm excited, but I am not a sweater.  It was dripping all over me and in the mirror I noticed my tank top start to transform from light blue to navy.  I couldn't believe it.  

The class started with standing poses... which were definitely the worst part.  I hope every class starts with that in the beginning cause I really am dreading doing those again.  I guess it's the balancing that is making you work so hard.  It's definitely better than running, but you feel the same effect, if that makes sense.  Nandra told me before I started the class that it's normal for beginners to stop and sit... and I totally did... numerous times.  But it's okay because there were other people that weren't beginners who stopped and sat also.  And I definitely stopped and sat less times than I wanted to.  Before we were on the floor Nandra announced that we were half way through the class.  I wanted to die.  I think I might have cried but it probably was just my eyes sweating.  I didn't think I was going to make it and was even planning my escape through the maze of sweaty yogi from the totally opposite side of the room to the door.  But I just thought I'll go a little more and then just explain that I had to leave and then I just kept going.  Then I got so fuckin hot that I wanted to pour my water all over me but obviously couldn't so I thought that I would just run across the room get a breather and get back.  But I didn't.  I stayed.  And then Nandra announced the 2/3rd mark and I stuck it out the whole way.  I can't believe I didn't leave.  I knew I'd be so upset with myself.  And I knew you'd give me shit for it.

At the end of class Nandra said I did really well and she was proud of me.  Thanks, Nandra.  I'm proud of me too.  And your hair stylist.  

I'm for sure gonna go back.  Every day except Saturday.  Saturday is my test day.  Ahhhhhhh.  But I think that this yoga will help me for my tests.  If what they say is true I should be more focused and not as stressed.  Hope they're right.  

I'm planning on going to the gym tomorrow.  I'll weigh myself there too.  I'm really curious if I've lost or gained anything I have no idea.

I guess my major goal for this week is to go to Yoga every day and the gym... I'm shooting realistically for 3 times at the gym this week (definitely that class on Friday that made me feel like dying for the rest of the weekend) since I'm doing the yoga.  It's not even that I don't want to physically do, there's just no time.

What I ate today:

Before yoga:

- California Veggie Burger (130 calories) with some chopped up celery and some of that dill sauce on a whole wheat pita (110 calories)

- One of those chicken tenders (75)

- Light and Fit Yogurt

After yoga:

- Amy's Organic Bean Enchilada (220 calories)

= Three of those chicken tenders on a whole wheat pita with some celery and low fat dressing

-  A Pink Lady Apple!  OMGGGGGG da bomb

- Wayyyyy too much of the most delicious peanut butter I've ever had...  probably like 8 tablespoons!

- A Rice Krispie treat

K, now I have to pass out.  

Kate

Some words from the wise.. the wise asses.

So I forgot to tell you the truly inspiring words my Grandma had to say when I told her why I wasn't going to order my regular shrimp tempura at lunch on Friday. I said that I was trying to be healthier and lose weight, and she said, "All you have to do is just eat less. Why don't people get it?" Well, I guess she's right, but it just isn't that easy, Grams.

ps- She told me about a month ago that I was getting fat... not sure if she said "fat" exactly, but she didn't put it lightly or say it nicely. Don't you just love the honesty older people posses?

French fries and bumble bees

Lucky for you, I'm not dead inside. I'm alive and well. As bad as I was last night, I dragged myself to the gym tonight. It takes a lot to work out on a Sunday, but it takes even more to do it on Sunday night. I just knew, before I even walked in the door, that there would only be a big girl or two in there. Probably vowing to never eat another piece of chocolate after a night of binging on valentines candy. Sure enough, I was right. It was just the three of us treading away on the mills.

So, let's get to last night's damage. I had a few drinks (beer and vodka and diet coke). I ate a bbq chicken sandwich and a side ceasar salad (sooo not healthy. tons of dressing, so I didn't eat it all). The bartender, being the asshole that he is, gave us a basket of fries. Rude!! And this was just after I was talking about how proud I was of myself for not ordering the chicken fingers and fries (By the way, I looooove fries. They are a huge food weakness.) The fries were so freaking good. Tossed in a ranch seasoning. Yum. And yep, I ate almost the entire basket. By myself.

Here's what I ate today:

Lunch: (woke up late, so no bfast):

-Lean pocket
- apple
- 1/2 banana with 4 wasa crackers and pbutter (the crackers are 20 cal each, and the pb is low fat)

Dinner:

- 2 bowls of Cheerios with skim milk (about 300 cal) .. I even measured out the serving size, 3/4 cup.
- 100 cal mini bag of popcorn and a pickle.

Ha, what a random, non-dinner.

Before I ate, I went to the gym. Usually, the hardest part about the going to the gym is the going part, but I'm slowing getting over that and just doing it. Today, it was a little bit harder than just going. As soon as I got on the treadmill I wanted to leave. I think it was harder bc I was super lazy all day and my bones and muscles were like, "Katie, but us back on the fucking couch and go back to playing silly kitty videos on youtube," but I did it. And I told myself that I would do an acceptable 30 mins but when I got closed to 30, I said, what's another 10, and changed the time to 40. Then I did that again when I was nearing 40. So I did 3.5miles at 50 mins and burned 413 calories.

So there Kate. I did 3 miles too!! And yes, I suck for last night, but I already accepted that earlier in the week. I think at the end of each week we should write whether or not we met our food and exercise goals and what we can do better.

Goals met?
We decided we would aim for 4 days of working out, but that 3 was okay. I did 3.5, bc Friday I only did 20 mins. I would say no to this question, bc I didn't do a full four days.

As for food, the words on this blog can speak for me. I obviously had many slip-ups.. We can all be as strong as you are Kate! -----But our lungs can!!!!!!!

Next week, I'm going to work on the sweets. I think a friendly little cardboard bee is going to bee a big help. Cheerios gives me the sweet fix and they can help lower cholesterol.. what am I, a fucking spokesperson?? Anyway, high cholesterol runs in my family and, the last time I checked, mine was a little high. (I just spell checked to see how to spell cholestreol. I was so way off)

For the healthy eating goals, I feel a little bad about what I ate. I only really feel good about what I listed today. And that sucks. I just have to do better. But this is helping, and so are you Kate! You really are inspiring, but mostly I just want to beat you.. like, win beat you, not like slam your head into something hard beat you.

Goodnight!
-Katie

Marie! The baguettes! Hurry up!

Dear Katie,

So yea as I explained I'm feeling bigger.  like I feel like my stomach got wayyyyy bigger since ending the cleanse.  And my abs are STILL on fire.  I really can't stand up straight without being in agony.  I know it's a good thing and I'm really excited for that class next Friday.  But I just am feeling fat.  

What did I eat today?  

Before work:

- Wheat bagel with reduced fat salmon cream cheese

- Large iced coffee with skim milk and one sugar and it was toasted almond 

All above thanks to Dunkin Donuts which just happened to be near the only healthy but expensive (more expensive than you could even imagine) near me where I went to buy some food for the week cause I had no other option.

After work:

- Amy's Organic Vegetable Lasagna, for dinner... then I binge ate for an hour straight

- 2 of the Rice Krispie treats I stole from work

- An orange

- A 80 calorie peach Light and Fit yogurt

- Oooh this cinnamon raisin peanut butter I got today it is sooo good... I hope I don't get ecoli... I ate way too much of it maybe 3 or 4 tablespoons  

- 3 Wassa crackers (you're right theyre great) I got the fiber kind cause I heart fiber

- Carrots and this dip thing with dill in it

omg I feel like there's more but I can't remember.  That might be it.  Hey... it could have been chocolate and McDonald's.

I am for sure doing Bikram Yoga this week starting tomorrow.  Excited!  And I'm gonna go to the gym in the morning to do some cardio and my arms.  My abs STILL hurt!  STILL can't stand up straight.

-Kate

Don't let this post completely kill you inside

Dear Katie,

I feel really really good right now.  I am sore as shit.  If I stand up straight my abs burrrn but I keep trying to cause I know that's good.  Okay and here's the best part.  While you're enjoying your Valentine's Day eating bar food and drinking (probably) beer, I just walked 3 miles.  I didn't go to the gym today and wasn't planning to do any exercise at all but when I went to get on the subway there were no Uptown trains like the station was closed off so I was gonna walk ten blocks to the next one but just decided to pass that, then thought I'd go to the next one, but pasted that then just decided to go all the way.  I think Columbia students get a Vespa included in their tuition.  So I hopstopped how far it is from my work to my home and it said 2.4 miles... but I walked more than that.  I walked two avenues and let me count...44 blocks.  So I guess there is 20 blocks in a mile.  But I had to go to a bodega so I walked an extra 4 blocks there and then I went down the wrong street like I always do for some reason so theres another...um... I REALLY can't do math... I'm taking a math pedagogy class right now and have learned that I'm barely on a kindergarten level of math...3 blocks...and then UPHILL by the by to my place another 4.  So that's um........55 blocks.  And two avenues.  So that's 57 blocks!  So that's how many miles omg I'll never be able to do that math.  Just about 3 miles!  You feel so bad about yourself right.  Katie, how could you?

So like I said I'm sore as fuck but I feel really good.  I feel smarter!  Like I feel more alert it's crazy.  Agh I lost the wireless signal I had been getting so I have to stand up while I type this cause my ethernet cable isn't long enough that I can sit down anyplace.  Oh okay what I ate today:

Before work:

- Bag of organic brown rice

- 3 of those chicken tenders 

- Dunkin Donuts (I passed it while walking to the next subway stop passed my closest one to get some kid of exercise in..... oh yea!  I forgot I did that!  That's more blocks!  I walked......  65 blocks!) large iced toasted almond iced coffee with skim milk and ONE sugar....  yummmmm

During work:

- Chicken burger from Better Burger (all natural lean... it's a snooty health food burger place... obviously I was on the Upper West Side) 

- A salad with mixed greens, carrots, cucumbers, onions and ONE tablespoon of balsamic vinigrette!  And it still felt like real food!

- Air baked french fries (they're not really fried)

I didn't have the valentine thing they gave me.  It was one of those sugar packets that you dip in with this stick into the sugar.  I passed on candy!  You just want to die, this is killing you.  I'm awesome.

To cheat or not to cheat on Valentines Day... (cheat.)

This is going to be short. I only did 20 mins on the treadmill yesterday, due to baaad planning. And today, although I promised myself and you that I would, I didn't go to the gym. Worked til five and then had to go to target, then VD Day stuff. So here I am and I'm about to go get ready to hang out with John for a non- Valentine celebration. (We're going to the bar near my house :)

Also, yesterday while I was babysitting, I did free weights and lunges with the mom's 8lb weights. BTW, those are SOO much heavier than the 5lb ones. No way there's only a 3lb difference. No way. I just don't believe math.

Okay, yesterday I ate well. Cheerios for breakfast, sushi for lunch (with, unfortunately, three pieces of veggie tempura). Subway turkey sandwich with sunchips for dinner and three mini candy bars. I hate babysitting bc it's like the candy hops into my lap and is like, "Hey. Whatcha watchin?" And then I have to eat it.

Today, I ate a mini bagel for breakfast with pbutter on it and a banana. Lunch was a big chicken salad with half an apple. And, once again, fuck this hallmark holiday bc there was a VD cake (oh, I wish it really were a VD cake, bc then I wouldnt have eaten it) in the break room. I ate a VERY small sliver. So much that it barely counts. And then a gross cookie that wasn't worth it, but once I realized it, it was too late so I just finished it. I'm so dumb.

So the rest of the day entails drinking and eating bar food. Tomorrow is workout central bc I know tonight I'm going to be cheating. ...Wait, we aren't dieting, so is it still cheating?

Happy VD Day!

-Katie

I wrote an essay today and titled it, 'Divided Nit Pickers'

Dear Katie,

So I just got off the phone with you.  And I missed you so much I had to write to you here.  It's Friday night 8:51pm the day before Valentine's Day...and I'm here...in my room.... alone.  It's okay.  I'm feeling really good about myself.  Plus... I'm boycotting holidays this year.  Select holidays.  But that's a whole different convo.  I have to go mushy for a minute...  Thank you for all your positive feedback and support.  It REALLY helps.  This all really helps.  I just feel like I'm fuckin doing it.  It's great.  Anyway.

I went to the gym this morning...  did 15 minutes (or was it 10... I think I aimed for 15 but the class was starting so it ended up at 10) on the treadmill and then did the Triple Fat Burner class.  I liked this class way more than the Core on the Ball.  The instructor was this like 4'5 Latino spitfire with one missing front tooth.  It was classic.  I need to find out his name.  Anyway... it was like basically tae bo.  He made me kick his hand pad thingies and said they were muy bueno.  He emphasized the 'muy.' OMG he made us run three laps at the end and I tried to stand there like maybe I would be invisible and drink my water because I just don't run but of course we made eye contact, so he proceeded to chase me around the gym really really fast.  So I RAN away from him cause I was scared of what he might do to me if I didn't.  I was the only white girl in the class...  well I started out white...  by the end of it I was BRIGHT red. And I feel like everyone after the class gets together in the locker room and says, "Wow it's true white girls are really not coordinated" cause I am NOT apparently.  It was great though this African woman in front of me was like CRYING.  And we kept mouthing to eachother "I'm DYING!"  It was funny.  I'm only mentioning races of people to put these experiences in context... plus I thrive on multiculturalism.  So I was going to stay to do some arm work and some more cardio but I really thought I was going to throw up.  Which was a great thing because it made me disgusted by the thought of Dunkin Donuts.  Woohoo I went to the gym and totally ruin it with Dunkin Donuts!  Oh Dunkin Donuts I love you.  I love you and I hate you.  Anyway....  I didn't throw up.  I got home talked to my Grammy (all about the woman with the fucking 8 babies and how she was so surprised that she didn't spot the fact that she had her lips done) and took a shower and had some lunch.  Okay... what I ate today:

Before gym

-  rest of yogurt from yesterday

- rest of bag of fiber pita things from yesterday

Before work

- bag of Trader Joes organic brown rice

- 2 Chicken tender things (150 calories...  I am NOT kidding they are the shizzassss)

- Cup of green tea

Dinner

-Salad... mix greens with onions, grilled chicken, chick peas, and broccoli and Russian dressing...way too much dressing but he mixed it in and he was like "Is this enough" and I said a little more and that ended up being way too much.... so now I know.

-Yogurt with granola.  Who knew me and yogurt would have such a love affair

- A little bit of melon

-  Rice Krispie (it is with a 'k' righ?) treat

And I just want to reiterate...  why the FUCK is Harlem so hilly?  And who forgot to tell me?  I was just introduced to hills and stairs....hills and stairs. 

It's weird cause I feel like I should be following a DIET...  like eat such and such and this and that so maybe that's why I'm scared this is all not having an effect (affect?  effect?  I really need to learn and understand the difference between the two) but I have to remind myself I am eating HEALTHY for like the first time ever.  But I still feel like I'm eating a lot.  

Oh yea...  I've had 5 cigarettes today.  I have 2 left in this pack.  Oh yea... I just switched to American Spirits (I heard that's what Obama smokes... or they could have just have been being clever).  Because the idea of chemicals in my body makes me sick.  Why the fuuuck do I smoke?  I feel like I'm a slave to it.  Agh.  OMG am I writing too much?  Do you think I'm fat?  Haha now I know the answer to that is YES, we think you're fat!  

Alright I'll be done.  Planning on going to tomorrow's Tummy Tuck and Butt class and doing 30 minutes cardio before and then doing arms or something else after before work.  Oh yea...  I played Wii golf for like an hour today, does that count as a sport?   OMGGG this is long.

Bye

P.S. Now it's 1:54am and I'm still awake for some reason.  Looks like the gym is for sure not happening for me tomorrow after all.  In place of the gym I plan to walk to work.. 2.4 miles and a MAJOR hill.  Oh yea and I'm thinking that I'm gonna stop smoking everything Monday and it order to help it get out of my body I'm gonna do Bikram Yoga... I've always wanted to do it and theyre having a special 20 bucks for 7 consecutive days I will have to go every single day.  I'll work it out.

Fuck Candy!!... Fuck Candy and Fuck Valentine's Day.

It's after 10 and I just finished dinner.. that's bad. But in my (and my dinner's) defense, it's because I worked out late. After I made some chicken and put a salad together, I sat down in front of a Gossip Girl dvd. I got up from my perch on the couch to get more chicken, and I was already feeling the soreness from my workout-- and that was just after sitting for five mins. I'm gonna be in paaain tomorrow.

So, on to that workout. I walked-- uphill like always-- for 55 mins. It was 3 1/2 miles and I burned 400 calories. And I ran for 5 of the 55 mins. Kate, I feel your pain on the running thing. I hate it. But I'm sure it's easier for me than for you, because I have fresh, healthy LUNGS!!!!!!! KATE!!!!!

(I also lifted free weights.. just a few reps.)

Foods:

Breakfast:
- Banana
- Peanut butter toast (1 slice)

Snack:
- Handful of goldfish
- Apple

Lunch
- Lean pocket
- Pickle

Pre-workout snack:
- Banana
- One wasa cracker with pbutter

Dinner:
- Grilled Chicken salad with boiled egg whites, tomatoes, feta cheese, and 1 1/2 tbls. of light ceasar dressing. (sooo good! who said salads have to suck??)

So I did awesome right??? Well, I lied a bit. The kids I babysit for brought home valentine candy, and I ate a few bite size candies. I really need to learn how to kick my sugar addiction. I seriously fucking love candy. I love it.

And now, I'm having a silent argument with the cereal monster in my pantry. Fuck him.

Love,
Katie

Marco, white girls can't merengue!

Dear Katie,

Woohoo I made it to the gym when I said I would.  Woke up early for it... and it's my day off!  Got there at about 9:30 (I ran into a Hair Fairy co worker on the street so I would have been there earlier... the first thing she yelled as I was crossing the street to her was "Are you pregnant!?"  What...the.... fuuuuuuuck).  So I did 10 minutes warm up on the treadmill and then a Core on the Ball class.  It was good.  I only wanted to die like twice.  At one point I stopped doing the crunches and looked to my right to see a middle aged chubby Dominican lady working it hardcore.  I was not going to let her win... so I didn't stop at all after that.  I can't stop laughing about the entire experience.  I saw an exposed breast for a good 15 minutes....  either she didn't realize or she just liked doing her crunches that way.  Then, of course, Don Omar was put on the stereo and Marco busted out in merengue.  I was like.. you have got to be kidding me.  But I didn't stop.  I worked my white girl hips and gave the women something to laugh about.  After the class I did 10 minutes on the eliptical (I can't stand the eliptical) and then 10 minutes on the treadmill with an incline walking briskly for 7 minutes and 3 minutes straight running.  Then I got even more exercise on my arms after buying my heavy items thinking I could catch the shuttle back... but no... thanks to Lincoln and him having a birthday, no bus.  So I had to walk the three streets and one avenue climbing the giant hill to my building carrying all that and talking to you on the phone.  So let's see... 30 minutes cardio, 45 minutes in the class and water/laundry detergent up hill for 15ish minutes.  Pretty good.  

What did I eat?:

- Orange

- Multi grain bagel and reduced fat salmon cream cheese (I'm not feeling bad about the bagel today cause I'm donating platelets later and needed to actually eat something of substance with calcium...I will try to resist Dunkin Donuts in the future... maybe not the coffee part)

- Iced coffee... skim milk and two sugars (in the future I'll get only one).  Did I say already that (sans the sugar) the large coffee with skim milk is 35 calories?  

- Trader Joe's All Natural Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal (130 calories)

- Package of Reduced fat Cheez-its (had to after donating...  I didn't however have to steal two more bags, 3 bags of Lornadoons and 3 sugar free cookie packets...  but I'm broke)

- Box of apple juice

-  Wrap from Au Bon Pan... it had rice and "steak" and jalapenos...  It was about 560 calories it said

- Half of a blueberry yogurt from Au Bon Pan (yogurt is my new bff...)

- Some cantalope

THIS LIST IS LOOKING LONG AND I'M DEF NOT DONE EATING FOR THE DAY!  But it's okay cause everything is not a hamburger and french fries.  Omg I would so much rather be writing here than writing my application that's due tomorrow.  I have nothing to say...  procrastinating procrastinating.  Oh I know...   I'll write a haiku:

Crunches at the gym

Fatties will lose belly mass

We will be too thin

Also I think it will help if I make a plan for what to eat tomorrow.

Before gym:  Rest of yogurt and Cheez its (remember... theyre reduced fat)

Lunch:  Brown rice and Trader Joes chicken (one of the two kinds that I have)

Dinner:  Salad... cause I'll be able to get one cause I'll be on the Upper West Side.

And some fruit.  I need to buy some fruit.

I'm gonna add more to this later.

Okay it's later and I'm wrapping this up.  I will eat something... in like two seconds after I finish writing this.  I don't know what it's gonna be.  Probably these fiber pita chips I got.  Or cantolope.  Or a sugar free cookie.  I don't know.  I'll let you know tomorrow.

I'm planning on getting my jiggly self to Tripe Fat Burner class at 9:15... so I want to be at the gym by 9.

OH... I wanted to add...  the fact that I am getting up in the morning and working out first thing (just like Obama!) is making me feel really good.  I like not wasting my mornings sleeping in and actually getting so much more accomplished in a day cause I feel more energized.  It's great.  Badabupbadah I'm lovin' it.

Late!

Kate

P.S.  Aaaaalright.  I'm supposed to be honest.  I just ate another bag of cheez its, half the bag of pita chips, 4 small oatmeal cookies and 5 small sugarless cookies!  OMG let me add the calories... omg it's A LOT!  I'll use donating the platelets as an excuse.  And I will do the class tomorrow AND 30 minutes on the treadmill AND 15 minutes arms.  

HA!

who said i wasnt going to post? but its late and i have to tilt my laptop to steal internet right now.. so im not capitalizing and im not punctuating.

so, yeah. youre winning so far. i ate like shit today (again!!) and i only went for a walk. a brisk, 30 min hilly walk, but no gym. so i wont count today as a work out day, ill do three more this week.

im not writing what i ate. no way. i went to a birthday dinner at a japanese steakhouse. i tried to be good, getting steamed rice instead of fried. i only ate like a third of the rice and i had a little fried rice bc the friggin chef put it on my plate. also, i asked him.. the devil chef.. to not put butter on my chicken or veggies (they put a shitload on all of them) and he put them on both anyway. ugh. but you really are making me want to do better. bc youre doing good and im not. ok, see you tomorrow. not really, but you know.

byeeee!!!

oh and good job on the fruit.. ive been eating a lot more in the past few weeks (mostly apples), and it really does make you feel better.
-katie

Soooore

Dear Katie,

So I understood like 50% of that 15minute voicemail you left me this morning (it was probably the afternoon... my morning today).  But I did hear something about not posting.  Tsk tsk.  I'm already beating you at this.  Can we just make that a Who Is Generally Better contest?  And part of being better is writing to the blog.  So I'm winning.

Oh yea I forgot to add last night that I walked like 17 blocks to and from my friends house (so like 34 blocks) so yay I got even more done.  Which makes me feel less bad about today.  For some reason I slept until 1pm today.  I hate when that happens.  But I let myself do it.  So I didn't go to the gym cause I had to go to math extra help (I thought I was done with math... why is it AGAIN ruining my life) and then class which left no time for gym.  I was MAD tired today.  Probably combination of smoking last night and being sore from the gym.  The soreness is getting progressively worse.  But I'm not gonna complain.

I am leaving my house for the gym tomorrow at 9 so I'll be working out by 9:15 and do 30 min on the treadmill weight loss setting again and then Core on the Ball at 10am.  Yay I'm excited.

Okay what did I eat today?  I went straight for lunch since I couldn't eat til after math...  I had:

- a salad with vegetables like 1/4 cup of pasta salad (not the mayo kind... it was in oil and sundried tomatoes) and one egg (I needed the protein).  Oh yea and French dressing.  The labels for the dressings weren't up so I didn't know which one was low fat and I HATE Italian dressing so I went with French.  I don't feel so badly about it. 

-  a banana.

- vegan dumplings and noodles I grabbed as the caf was closing.  I think combined dinner was like 450 calories?  

- an orange

I bought a 100 calorie brownie thing as a treat for myself later cause I have to watch Top Chef... and I can't watch Top Chef without eating.  So I also got an apple, banana and a Light n Fit yogurt.  I like that I'm eating more fruit.  Sometimes I don't want to eat... I just think that I do so eating fruit is a good medium.  I'm like falling asleep as I write this.  Is this making sense?  Does it ever?

-Kate

Shit.

"why do they do that... when I was doing Weight Watchers it was next to a Red Lobster and a Wendy's"

..Please tell me you've seen that sex and the city episode where Miranda does Weight Watchers and goes to Krispy Kreme after.. it's so funny and this post reminded me of it.

Alright now on to the "shit" part of this post. I ate like shit today. I suck. I promise tomorrow I will be better.

Breakfast:
-One piece of bread with peanut butter
-A banana

Snack:
-Goldfish

Lunch:
- Lean Pocket
- Apple
- Cheese Its

(sounds okay so far right??)

(here comes the shit)

Snack:
-A piece of Valentine Chocolate

Dinner:
- A small, homemade grilled chicken sandwich and a small wrap, made the same way as the sandwich. .. The sandwich was soo small!! I immediately regretted it.
- A few pieces of chex mix and two bite sized kitkats.

There you have it. Shit.

And more shit-- I didn't work out today. I went to bed at 2am so I knew I wasn't going to get up. Boo. But tomorrow I'm going. I did go on a short walk and danced around with a two year old, so that counts a little. But not really, I know.

Okay, I have to go. I'm on John's mom's computer (see how dedicated I am so far?? borrowing peoples' computers and shit :)

Tomorrow's another day,
Katie

Can going to the gym be an excuse for not reading?

Dear Katie,

So I have class in an hour... and instead of reading the like 100 pages I had for homework and haven't even looked at, I'm writing here.

I went to the gym this morning! YAY! I wanted to go to an Abs class at 9:45 but that didn't materialize due to not being able to get to sleep before 4am thinking about what is wrong with me. I was Facebook dissed... majorly. It was probably because of all those fattie pics that are up on there. It just sucked... cause I was on a high of earning back some ounce of self esteem... only to have it shot down... by fucking Facebook. Agh.

But anyway... got to the gym at about 11:15. Did 35 minutes on the weight loss setting. Then worked my inner and outter thighs and my chest (I want those puppies up to my neck... agh... Puppies was my nickname in high school... cause of my humungous puppies). I did 3 sets of 20 reps on each. After that I went back on the treadmill and ran fast for 5 minutes. I could not believe I ran. Five minutes sounds like nothing but for a fattie smoker with the legs as long as normal people's calf it was quite the feat. I was surprised that I didn't feel like dying after the whole work out. I was there like almost 1.5 hours. I could have stayed longer... but the gym is right next to Dunkin Donuts (why do they do that... when I was doing Weight Watchers it was next to a Red Lobster and a Wendy's) and I had planned to reward myself with a giant iced coffee (skim milk and sugar... regular sugar is better than the artificial sweetners which I have totally cut out of my diet... I'd rather take on the calories and not the chemicals). The reward turned into an iced coffee and a bagel. OMG... do they put all the calories on food in Atlanta? It is awful (and wonderful). You're constantly aware of every single thing you put into your mouth that you buy out. The bagel (multigrain... helps me poop... which is always a problem for me) was 380 +the low fat cream cheese and the coffee with the skim milk and sugar was about 60 calories. I'm planning to have some kind of fruit before class and a salad afterwards. Please don't let the cafeteria close before I get out of class. Salads don't exist in Harlem.

So succinct objective writing is not my forte as has become evident from this blog and all of my graduate classes. I'm wordy... deal with it. Okay... going to "read."

7:47pm:  Just got back from class before which I ate a low fat yogurt and a banana.  Decided I didn't want to pay anything for dinner... so came back and made myself three Trader Joe chicken strips (220 calories for three!) and Trader Joe organic brown rice (like 200 calories).  Agh and ketchup.  I need to get over my ketchup addiction.    

I'm going to a friend's to watch a movie tonight.  I'm going to try my best not to eat anything.  I swear to God if I don't read a blog post from you when I get back.....

Okay... peace out,

Kate

P.S.  Oh yea... I wanted to add that in class tonight my professor said, "I challenge you all to the yogurt challenge of Harlem."  The challenge is to see how long you can search for yogurt in a store here.  The answer is...  you probably can't.  So what I said about salads not existing in Harlem is true.  The distinction between the diets of the rich and poor and the availability of food to each group is interesting.  Okay that's all.

P.P.S.  I just got back from my friend's house...  ate a little tiny bit of popcorn and had a green tea.  Now I'm eating three more of the chicken strips.  So another 225ish calories.  These are so great!  I'm feeling bad about it just so you know.

Facebook Picture Challenge!

Okay... so. This was a horrifying challenge... I haven't looked at my facebook pictures like ever. I'm pretty mortified by them. What was even more awful was that I could barely find one I liked. Here are two of the ones I don't think I look terrible in and remember feeling good. God I miss London. A diet of Strongbow and Tesco sandwiches worked for me... I remember the jeans in the Amsterdam picture were an 8. Definitely the last time I was a 8.

Agh okay... here are the bad ones. Brace yourself.I was almost definitely sucking it in too
Oh...my... fat

Here's a bonus

Facebook good, bad photo thingy

Ok so I went on Facebook to find one fattie fat fat pic of me and one good one that I want to look like again. I have to post two fattie pics, bc they are so awesomely bad that I can't choose.

Here are the fatty ones (there are fatter ones out there somewhere, but I'm a de-tagger, so I can't find them!)

The lumps in my stomach are AWESOME.
And I'm on stage, in front of tons of people. Ew.

Me shoveling food into my face.


And here is a good one. It's from about two years ago.




...I can't find a recent picture of me that looks like me, so I'll post that later gater.

You can do anything

Dear Katie,

Oh...my... God how excited am I!? So I am so happy that I decided to go home this weekend and because of that had to walk around the block in order to have my first post-cleanse smoke which had the delightful addition of a phone conversation with my beloved, you. I always adore talking with you but this particular conversation was even more meaningful. You said something like, "If you can do [the Master Cleanse] you can do anything." And I trust you, so... I can do anything. Hell, we have a black president and yes he did.. so shit yea... yes I can! OMG I had a dream last night he chose me to be in a play with him and he put his arm around me and I fainted and he just whispered in my ear that everything would be okay... Ooh Barack! Okay sorry.

So, here commences my journey to my first bikini. Mind you, I had a size DD bra in like the fourth grade... so a bikini was NEVER an option for me (except for the summer I went to the Dominican Republic like a month after surgery.. but even then I should not have been in a bikini but was too excited I really jumped the gun) and I say it every single year, 'I will be in the beach in a bikini this year,' and each year I just get fatter and fatter and further and further away from the beach, and my goals. So shit I'm fuckin' doing it (are we cursing in this blog? We really need to cause I don't think I know how to express myself otherwise... maybe I shouldn't be an elementary school teacher).

Agh... I suppose I should give a brief background into my exact intentions in this fattie challenge. I only say 'agh' because it means I have to think about the things that cause me to eat in the first place. The bad things. The things about life.

I guess I'll start with the fact that, as you know, I broke up with M like almost 6 months ago. During the time I was with him, maybe not in the beginning so much but definitely after we moved in together, I felt so horrible about myself... and he definitely didn't help. He made me feel so bad about eating the things I was eating, when I was eating them, the fact that I didn't go to the gym, the fact that I rested after work etc. He made me feel so bad about myself and I was so fucking depressed that I would like binge eat (after getting really high of course which I also did in excess and in secret because he made me feel so bad about it) and like munch out before he got home from work. I didn't realize until I left him that I felt so bad and that I didn't have to believe the things he said about me and I no longer had to have what he said effect me (should it be affect... I should learn the difference). WOW! Okay didn't mean to open that can of worms...

So I had my mourning period and now here I am... Harlem. I have a new living situation in a brand new exciting place which I love and I am ready to make myself totally new. Well no I take that back. I love a lot of things about me. But I am going to finally get myself feeling better. And this includes making it to my goal weight and looking the way I never before believed that I could look. This is a top priority.

Which is why I am so excited that you heard in my voice that I am so committed to this great change.

Okay... jeez I should be laying on a couch in front of someone with a legal notebook right now.

Here are my goals:

1. Already said... TO WEAR BIKINI THIS SUMMER

2. I would love to get to my DREEEAM weight by the summer. So that's 117 so that's 30ish lbs by June 22 (I think is the first day of summer). I will weight myself at the gym tomorrow.

3. Make going to the gym part of my life routine

4. I would love to quit smoking... both things. This will help with feeling better, exercise more and not eating.

Weaknesses: Aghh

Okay so I definitely late every night... and I usually eat the most of what I eat during this time.

I love shitty food... french fries, bagels, pizza. Oh yea... I also pretty much only eat carbs.

I need to eat more fruits and vegetables... I <3>

Okay so what did I eat today? Today was not a good day eating wise. Not cause I didn't eat too much... because I didn't eat enough. I blame it on my math homework. Oh...and btw... turns out I'm on like a kindergarten math comprehension level. Anyway... I had a bag of Cheez Its... and that's it so far... and it's almost midnight. This can't be good. I get all hyped up after class for some reason... like cause participate to a borderline obnoxious degree... so I am still like going on that energy and my stomach is shrunken a little screwy from the cleanse but I know I 'll get hungry in a little while. I have an all natural burrito I'll eat... Tomorrow I will eat real meals.

I joined the gym today! Yay! But I couldn't work out.... again, math homework. But I did go to orientation and watched the trainers penis move through his loose sweatpants while he demonstrated squats... I mean... I learned how to use all the machines. Tomorrow I am shooting for the morning Ab class.

Okay wow I'm sorry this is so long. Feel free to skim.

Bikini Challenge??

Dear Kate,

So I've gained about 10 lbs over the past few months. That is just bad. Ten pounds on a girl is realllllly noticeable. The fat is even on my face. And last Saturday night I caught a back view glimpse of underwear-ed self in John's full length mirror. And the weight gain proof was in the pudding... or in this case, cottage cheese. I have cellulite. I used to have a few dimples here and there, but now it's full fledged cellulite. If I don't want to look at it, there's no way anyone else wants to see it. Poor John.

And that brings me to another thing. A girl at my work, who might I add has the largest ass I have ever seen (but that's totally acceptable bc she's black. no fair.), told me I need to "get rid of allll this" while pointing to my stomach. She said, "no guy wants a fat girlfriend." Ouch. Unfortunately, I couldn't be mad bc the bitch was right.

Alright so here are my goals:

- Lose weight (duh.) Maybe 15-20 lbs? I say 15, but then again, 10 lbs ago I wasn't happy with my weight, so what is an extra 5 lbs going to do? Let's make it 20.

- Eat better. This entails dealing with the late-night hunger monster that lives in my pantry. He's usually pushing hard drugs like Captain Crunch and Cheeze-Its. Also, I babysit during the day, and they have really good junkfood like Goldfish (my fave) and mini candybars (the devil). I've got to learn to say no.

- Tone up. I really want to walk around the lake this summer in a bikini sans tank top. My softest (that sounds so much nicer than "fattest" or "lumpiest") area is my stomach. It's just gross. And the fat that laps over the bra on my back? Grosssss.

Okay, so we started today. This is what I ate:

Lunch:
(i woke up too late for breakfast.. it was my day off:)
- A lean pocket
- A mini-bagel with light peanut butter
- An apple
- The devil chocolate chip cookie (snack)

Dinner:
- A spinach salad with boiled eggs (I took out the yolks), feta and light ceaser dressing.
- Another lean pocket.
- Two bowls of cereal. Cheerios and Coco Peebles.

So I really eff'ed up on the cereal. I'm glad I ran out of milk, bc I probably would've gone back for more. Oh, and it was fat free milk..

I worked out tonight for the first time in a while. I ran ... hahaha.. walked uphill for 50 mins. I burned 400 calories and did a total of 3.2 miles. I also did crunches and did a few arm exercises with 5lb weights. Overall, I did an hour.

So, knowing that I'm not going to have time to go to the gym tomorrow, I am aiming for an early morning workout. I know it may not happen, but I thought if I typed it, maybe that would help.

Damn this is long. Promise the others won't be :)

-Fattie Katie