I almost got a burrito today

But I refrained.  I seriously had the phone in my hand to dial the place to have it ordered and just couldn't go through with it.  I was feeling like shit all day and like my automatic response to feeling like shit is to eat shitty food to somehow make myself better.  But I thought about how my exercise and activity (or lack thereof) for the day definitely would not have come close to having burned what the burrito would have cost me.  

I went to the gym this morning.  I did the Total Body Workout class.  There is this teacher... I've mentioned her before.  She's newish and totally totally kicks your ass the whole time... people always leave early cause she's so hardcore.  She was the teacher during the class (or two) that I totally broke down during.  So since I'm over my cold which held me back from putting 100% in her class last week and since the week before I left (but went back) due to my not being able to control my tears I really really wanted to prove to her...and myself... that I could hack it in her class.  But like half way through my eye clogged.  Fucking sinuses.  And I couldn't unclog it.  It totally threw off my equilibrium and I felt really REALLY dizzy which made jumping up and down on the step near impossible (I fucking HATE the step HATE HATE HATE it!).  Oh and before the class I was early so I did 70 crunches on my own.  

What I ate today:

Breakfast

Total cereal with skim 200 cal

Lunch

(not good)

Salad with thousand island 1tb 

Like a cup... or 1.25 cup of pasta salad

3 plantanos (I wanted something fried and figured its a fried fruit so I let myself do it)

Dinner

Amy's Organic broccoli and cheese pot pie 470 cal

Snack

Yogurt w/granola 180 cal

Eesh... I didn't eat so great today.  Especially on top of the fact that besides the gym I laid in bed alllll day.  My head started pounding because of my sinuses.  Damn you, Spring.  

I need to get my act together.  I really want to start doing two hours at the gym.  Oh yea!  I weighed myself and I'm down to 145.  So that "fucking three pounds" is now "fucking five pounds."  I looked up what it means when you're exercising and not losing weight.  Everything was like "Are your clothes fitting better?" and I was like "Yea totally" and it says that that means I'm gaining muscle.  And that the scale is not a good way to measure weight loss.  That makes sense... but still.  I want my numbers besides my inches to drop.  It also said that the first month or two the numbers on the scale might not go down but then after that they should.  So I'm hoping they do.  I am so fucking scared I won't be in a bikini in six weeks.  FUCK