I will always be fat

That's what I feel like.  My stomach is huge.  It's way bigger than last week.  What the fuck is wrong with me?

No gym today.  Planned on going to two classes.  Was too tired for the early one so slept a little more and ended up sleeping through both.  It was pouring rain all day and was really dark out so I had a hard time getting up.  I suck.  

Agh what I ate today:

Breakfast:

Total w/skim 200 cal

Activia fat free 70 cal

Lunch

Amy's Organic Shepards Pie 160 cal

Dinner #1

Bowl of Cheerios w/skim 200ish cal

2 bananas

Math class snack

Agh... it was my friends birthday and I felt bad she had to spend it in math class with me so I brought in candy.  And she brought in cookies.  Mother fucker....  so I had 

Three bite sized Twix

One bite size Milky Way

2 cookies.  

Dinner #2... which I had a freakin 11pm not good.

Amy's Organic Alphabet soup 160 cal

4 crackers stolen from roommate 70 cal

I feel so disgusting.  I am for shizz going to the gym tomorrow.  Then I'm going home for Spring Break.  So I probably won't be able to post for the next week.  Not that you care.  Not that you are at all involved in this blog anymore.  Not like you're even reading this.  

I'm going to try and go to the gym when I'm home.  I got the "gold" membership so I can use the Lucielle's there and my aunt apparently goes everyday (yea right I don't believe her) so I'm gonna make her do a class or two with me.  I hope I don't run into any fucking bitches from high school.  I know I will.  I hope they're fat.  

Oh, incidentally...  I bought my friend the special peanut butter as a little birthday gift.  I can't wait to hear what she thinks of it.  I also bought a jar for my aunt for Easter.  And I bought another jar that I was going to give to my mom... but I don't think my mom would appreciate it.  So I kept it for myself.  Whatever you can judge me.  I am full.  I am full.  I need to tell myself I'm full so I don't go ahead and eat the whole jar.  I know if I have one spoonful the entire jar will be gone.  That canNOT happen again.

Okay... Long Island, here I come.  I feel like I'm going to be so embarrassed like my family is expecting me to be like anorexic thin and I'm still a fatty fat fat fatty.  AGH!