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We are so dropping the ball with the blog.  I don't like that.  I've been drunk for the better part of the past three days so that's my excuse.

Anyway...  I'm still on Spring Break and still using that as an excuse to be eating badly.  Im not even eating badly....just eating A LOT.  Thurs was ridiculous I just ate allllll day with the kids I babysit.  Then I went out to dinner with my roommates.  I had a chimichanga and three margaritas... but don't worry... I threw almost all of that up.  

Yesterday

Breakfast

Special K Bar 180 cal

Lunch

Salad... walnuts, cucumbers, avacado, grilled chicken, Russion

Some grapes

Oh shit.... I didn't eat dinner.  Well I guess I had three glasses of wine for dinner.  Damn.

Today 

Breakfast

Total w/2%  220ish cal

Lunch

Lean Cuisine pizza 310 cal

Snack

South Beach Protein 140

Activita Light 70

Okay I have to write this so I don't forget it.  I just had a realization.  I feel like I've had several major realizations since our first conversation about starting this whole thing (I think that would be considered as the first realization).  I was looking at the pictures of myself from last night and looking at how long my hair is.  I "bobbed" my hair in the summer of... I'm trying to think...  2007.  And it looked horrible.  It did.  One of my reasons or excuses for doing it was that I was going to donate it.  But when I went ot the dresser he said it was so damaged that they wouldn't take it.  And my brother donated his hair years ago and I remember there were a lot of restrictions.  But I cut it anyway and I am happy that I did because it's all one color and my natural color at that (I have been dying my hair since I was like 11) and it was all healthy and Margie, the woman whose wedding I'm in (OMG DID I TELL YOU THE UPDATE WITH THE COUSIN?)  I am basically just rambling.  I just smoked.  Whatever.  It's my last night of Spring Break and I was going to go out... omg I had three opportunities to go out tonight and I never have one opportunity and I didn't take any of them and I'm staying in smoking by myself and watching bull shit TV and RAMBLING here!  OMG this is kind of embarrassing.  Whatever back to my story.........   I put bobbed in quotations because it was longer than a bob but above my shoulders.  It was basically really dyky looking.  I'll find a pic and put it here.  ANYWAY!  What my realization was was that I look and feel so much more beautiful with long hair.  And it took a really long time for my hair to finally be long again.  And so I wonder if subconsciously I was making myself ugly.   Like...  I didn't get fat by accident (sounds like something I learned from Biggest Loser, probably did) and I made my hair really ugly.  Like... did I do it on purpose?  To punish myself?  Because I was so miserable with my life?  And like now I'm making it better.  Because I am happier.   Or am I happier than my hair is longer and my weight has nothing to do with my happiness?  I doubt the latter.  I don't know.  But things are good.  OMG what if something is horribly going to go wrong.  And my world wasn't rocked on the 17th thank you very much, AOL Free Weekly Romance Horoscopes.  Thanks for nothing.