blah blah blah

FUCK IT. If I have chocolate everyday, then oh fucking well. And I'm going to say fuck in every sentence in this post.

I'm really sorry that I've been fucking up on this blog thing. It was just so fucking hard to get back into it. Okay the fuck has got to stop I'm annoying myself.

There is no way I'm going to put everything I ate last week. Let's just say it was bad. And I only worked out twice. And it was in the same day so that doesn't really count. Today I went to climb the mountain and that is a KILLER workout. And we are going to do climb it when you come, and you are going to hate me, but then you'll like it.

Okay I don't want to type anymore. I ate some sweets and some other stuff but nothing too bad.
I'm on the phone with you. BYE!

You know what sucks??

... Amy fucking Winehouse has a better body than me. Now that's bad.

(just had to tell you that. more later, promise.)

`

We are so dropping the ball with the blog.  I don't like that.  I've been drunk for the better part of the past three days so that's my excuse.

Anyway...  I'm still on Spring Break and still using that as an excuse to be eating badly.  Im not even eating badly....just eating A LOT.  Thurs was ridiculous I just ate allllll day with the kids I babysit.  Then I went out to dinner with my roommates.  I had a chimichanga and three margaritas... but don't worry... I threw almost all of that up.  

Yesterday

Breakfast

Special K Bar 180 cal

Lunch

Salad... walnuts, cucumbers, avacado, grilled chicken, Russion

Some grapes

Oh shit.... I didn't eat dinner.  Well I guess I had three glasses of wine for dinner.  Damn.

Today 

Breakfast

Total w/2%  220ish cal

Lunch

Lean Cuisine pizza 310 cal

Snack

South Beach Protein 140

Activita Light 70

Okay I have to write this so I don't forget it.  I just had a realization.  I feel like I've had several major realizations since our first conversation about starting this whole thing (I think that would be considered as the first realization).  I was looking at the pictures of myself from last night and looking at how long my hair is.  I "bobbed" my hair in the summer of... I'm trying to think...  2007.  And it looked horrible.  It did.  One of my reasons or excuses for doing it was that I was going to donate it.  But when I went ot the dresser he said it was so damaged that they wouldn't take it.  And my brother donated his hair years ago and I remember there were a lot of restrictions.  But I cut it anyway and I am happy that I did because it's all one color and my natural color at that (I have been dying my hair since I was like 11) and it was all healthy and Margie, the woman whose wedding I'm in (OMG DID I TELL YOU THE UPDATE WITH THE COUSIN?)  I am basically just rambling.  I just smoked.  Whatever.  It's my last night of Spring Break and I was going to go out... omg I had three opportunities to go out tonight and I never have one opportunity and I didn't take any of them and I'm staying in smoking by myself and watching bull shit TV and RAMBLING here!  OMG this is kind of embarrassing.  Whatever back to my story.........   I put bobbed in quotations because it was longer than a bob but above my shoulders.  It was basically really dyky looking.  I'll find a pic and put it here.  ANYWAY!  What my realization was was that I look and feel so much more beautiful with long hair.  And it took a really long time for my hair to finally be long again.  And so I wonder if subconsciously I was making myself ugly.   Like...  I didn't get fat by accident (sounds like something I learned from Biggest Loser, probably did) and I made my hair really ugly.  Like... did I do it on purpose?  To punish myself?  Because I was so miserable with my life?  And like now I'm making it better.  Because I am happier.   Or am I happier than my hair is longer and my weight has nothing to do with my happiness?  I doubt the latter.  I don't know.  But things are good.  OMG what if something is horribly going to go wrong.  And my world wasn't rocked on the 17th thank you very much, AOL Free Weekly Romance Horoscopes.  Thanks for nothing.  

I heart the elliptical

Katie-

Seriously... I don't know what changed... but I really love doing the elliptical.  It's FUN!  And I feel like it's working my entire body.  Like I feel like everything on my body jiggles and hopefully the fat is being jiggled away.  

YESTERDAY

I went to the gym...  I did 30 minutes on the elliptical burned 300.  Then did some random arm work with dumbells and 100 crunches.  Then I did another 30 on elliptical... another 300.  Over 4 miles all together.  

What I ate:

Breakfast

Fruit

Lunch

Whole wheat pita 140 cal

Broccoli, cauliflower, some carrots steamed with a little evoo and salt

Cheese 100 cal

Blue cheese dressing 60 cal

Snack

South Beach protein bar 140 cal

Dinner

Amy's Organic Lasagna 310

Whole wheat pita 140

Snack

Finished the jar of the peanut butter.  NOT buying another jar unless a special occasion calls for it.

Some fruit

Bowl of Total 200ish cal.  

I think that's it.  I hope that's it.

OMG I was watching Biggest Loser and SOBBING last night!  I want Ron's other son to lose his weight so bad.  He can do it!  He just doesn't know it!  There NEEDS to be a follow up with him.  He should be on the next season.  I should be his partner.

Oh YEA...  I went to Modells yesterday to get those velcro strappy weights to tie on my arms while I'm on the treadmill (now elliptical)....  I didn't get 'em... but I did get a Solar Belt.  What's a solar belt?  Well...  it's basically a gertle you tie around your waist and it's supposed to work with your body temperature and make you sweat from your middle helping you to lose inches.  It's almost definitely total bull shit...BUT... it improves my posture soooooo much.  It's so weird.  I have been wearing it all day last night and all day today.  I feel like I'm standing properly for the first time ever.  And it does make my stomach sweat... but I don't really think that's doing anything...except being gross.  I ALMOST bought this RIDICULOUS suit... like an MC Hammer kind of deal that is supposed to make your whole body sweat... but I didn't want to be not only the 'the white girl' at the gym but 'the white girl in that ridiculous sweat suit' so I didn't get it.  But I really heart the Solar Belt.

TODAY

Okay I overslept this morning...  was going to go to classes but didn't.  Now I am draaaaaaaagging myself to the gym cause I won't be able to go tomorrow.  I'm going shoe shopping first.  

What I ate

Breakfast

Fruit (kiwi, grape, pineapple, strawberries)

FiberOne bar 140

I'll update later.

I curse you, Easter....

...damn your bunny and his chocolate.  During Easter dinner I turned to my mom and said, "I seriously think I gained five pounds from being home this weekend," jokingly...when sure enough, I get on the scale yesterday and I have gained....five..... pounds.  I'm not going to dwell on it.  The whole time I kept telling myself, 'I am home...I am on vacation...I don't want to be deprived.' With baskets of candy randomly placed throughout my grandmother's house, I found myself totally eating mindlessly.  Like I would just keep popping Dove eggs or mini Kit Kats into my mouth.  And in my mom's house....agh....  Apparently she gets zeppolis everyday with her lunch.  Tell me you know what zeppolis are.  I think they're my favorite thing in the whole world.  Well my third...bagels, french fries, zeppolis.  I think like 3 zeppolis have a days worth of calories.  Well....  Friday night....  I had EIGHT!  And I didn't get to the gym at all.  I didn't do any exercise except for a short walk.  I feel super gross.  Okay... I'm not going to dwell I'm not going to dwell.  Now I'm back in the city and back on track.  I seriously had to leave Long Island just because it was throwing off my routine so much.   

I'm off from school until next week and I have the next two days totally free before I start work.  Yesterday I went to the gym... didn't go to classes because I went in the afternoon.  But, hey!  I LOVE THE ELLIPTICAL!  I don't know what happened.  I did the treadmill for a half hour or so...burned like 300 cal.  Then my ankles started hurting so bad so I got off but still felt like I wanted to keep working out so I was like, I'll get on the elliptical and die after ten minutes and then go home.  I started doing it and I didn't feel like dying this time.  It was way easier.  I think it was cause I totally relaxed my body and let it just flow with the step things.  That doesn't make sense.  But I heart it....

What I ate yesterday

Breakfast

Fruit (strawberries, grapes)

Activia no fat 70 cal

Snack

Large iced coffee skim one sugar

Lunch

Whole wheat pita 140

Veggie burger 110 

Dinner

Amy's Organic enchiladas 260 cal

Pineapple

Snack

One Dove egg

Apple with the peanut butter (I need to finish this jar which obviously won't be difficult.... I just can't have this in the house)

Okay I'm off to the gym now....  then clothes shopping... I was up all night thinking about going and was so so so excited I couldn't sleep... that's ridiculous :-D

Hey Kate!

Hope you're enjoying your Spring Break. And you should be proud that your mom said good things about the way you look. She didn't have to say anything. You look awesome and you know it. Look how far you've come!

So I'm about to go work out. I'm gonna try and exercise for a long time bc I'm going to eat dinner with John's family tonight. I'm gonna do the elliptical (you made me realize I've been spelling it wrong, opps) for 10-15 mins and then the treadmill for at least 35. Then crunches.

Here's what I ate:

-PButter sandwich
- R. fat cheese its

(okay, blame it on my limited funds on why I've been eating the same thing. I'll work on it :)

I'll try to update later. If I don't get to it tonight (I'll be at John's and he doesn't have the internet), I'll do it tomorrow.

Stupid Ear!

It has been clogged up for three days. I don't know what to do. I've tried the ear cleaner stuff that the pharmacist recommended and sudafed (also recommended), and none of it has worked. I know its not an ear infection, bc it doesn't hurt. ugh, it's soo annoying. I can hear every breath I take, and every crunch I eat. Wow, that's like a song. ... a really lame song.

Lunch:
- Pbutter sandwich with r. fat pb and whole wheat bread
- R. fat cheese its
- 2 strawberries and 2 pieces of pineapple.

I'm going to work out this afternoon. My arms hurt from the weights I did yesterday. My shoulder popped earlier and it was like the best feeling in the world. Weird. I'll update more later. Oh and I'm gonna go eat a granola bar so add that. Bye!


Update:

Okay, I didn't work out. Just didn't feel well. I'm still stuffy and headache-y. I'm beginning to think it's the pollen and not still a cold.

Dinner:
- Pbutter sandwich
- Rfat cheese its
- one bite sized twix and one bite sized kit kat

Later I finished the 1/2 bag of baked lays from Monday night. I can't believe I ate the same thing for lunch and dinner. Pathetic. That is one way to gain weight. I read somewhere that eating the same shit will make you gain. Boo.

I'm still in!

I'm here Kate, I'm here!! I'm just not good at keeping up on the weekends.

Here's what I ate on Sat:

Lunch:
- 1/2 a corndog
- 3 grilled chicken sliders (they were SUPER small, I swear!) (Okay, I had ONE fried one too)
- hot tamales

Dinner:
- Potato Soup (320 cal)
- grilled cheese (210 cal)

And later on in the night I had Ben and Jerry's Frozen Yogurt.. like 1/2 the pint. It was 280 cal I think?? I don't remember, and it's loooong gone now so I can't look at the container. I know that's not very good, but I had to have something. And it's lowfat.

Sunday:

Lunch (didn't have time for breakfast):
- P butter sandwich
- Sunchips (one serving)
- Granola bar

Snack:
- Fiber one bar

Dinner:
- Potato soup (same as above)
- Grilled Cheese
and I finished the rest of the fro yo, so that was another 280 or so..

Today I worked out and I reallllly didn't want to. I was feeling down and I knew it was the only thing that would make me feel better, so I just did it. I did 10 mins on the eliptical and seriously almost died. I was sweating soooo much. I really think I do it wrong somehow, bc other people aren't dying on it like I am. Even the big people. I did the hill setting, and according to the calorie counter, I burned just as much on that machine in 1o mins as I do on the treadmill (100 cal.) So, FUCK the eliptical. But really, I was sweating so much that it had to be a better workout than the treadmill. Anyway, I did 10 mins on the eliptical and 30 on the treadmill.

..And this guy got on the treadmill by me and smelled so bad that I almost got off and did another machine. It was nasty. He smelled like week-old moldy socks. I was seriously breathing through my mouth. He finally got off after like 5 mins. .. 5 mins of smelly hell.

Here's what I ate today:

Woke up late so I had a brunch.. I know, it's so bad to be skipping breakfast. I'm going to work on it.

Brunch:
- Egg and cheese sandwich (same as grilled cheese, as far as calories, but with two egg whites added.)
- "dipped" granola bar

Post-workout snack:
- R. fat cheese its, waaay too many.

Dinner:
- 1/2 a turkey sandwich from the deli on whole wheat bread
- salad with a tiny bit of ceasar dressing (probably 1/2 tablespoon) and feta cheese
- bag of baked lays with hummus. I didn't even finish the whole bag, or the 1/2 sandwich.. weird.
- frozen yoplait yogurt

So, today was a good day as far as eating and working out. Wow, I don't think I've said that in a looong time. OH! I forgot, I did arm exercises at the gym. Three different machines, 3 sets of 10 each.

Goodnight Kate!

(Oh, and don't act like they don't have internet in Long Island)

I will always be fat

That's what I feel like.  My stomach is huge.  It's way bigger than last week.  What the fuck is wrong with me?

No gym today.  Planned on going to two classes.  Was too tired for the early one so slept a little more and ended up sleeping through both.  It was pouring rain all day and was really dark out so I had a hard time getting up.  I suck.  

Agh what I ate today:

Breakfast:

Total w/skim 200 cal

Activia fat free 70 cal

Lunch

Amy's Organic Shepards Pie 160 cal

Dinner #1

Bowl of Cheerios w/skim 200ish cal

2 bananas

Math class snack

Agh... it was my friends birthday and I felt bad she had to spend it in math class with me so I brought in candy.  And she brought in cookies.  Mother fucker....  so I had 

Three bite sized Twix

One bite size Milky Way

2 cookies.  

Dinner #2... which I had a freakin 11pm not good.

Amy's Organic Alphabet soup 160 cal

4 crackers stolen from roommate 70 cal

I feel so disgusting.  I am for shizz going to the gym tomorrow.  Then I'm going home for Spring Break.  So I probably won't be able to post for the next week.  Not that you care.  Not that you are at all involved in this blog anymore.  Not like you're even reading this.  

I'm going to try and go to the gym when I'm home.  I got the "gold" membership so I can use the Lucielle's there and my aunt apparently goes everyday (yea right I don't believe her) so I'm gonna make her do a class or two with me.  I hope I don't run into any fucking bitches from high school.  I know I will.  I hope they're fat.  

Oh, incidentally...  I bought my friend the special peanut butter as a little birthday gift.  I can't wait to hear what she thinks of it.  I also bought a jar for my aunt for Easter.  And I bought another jar that I was going to give to my mom... but I don't think my mom would appreciate it.  So I kept it for myself.  Whatever you can judge me.  I am full.  I am full.  I need to tell myself I'm full so I don't go ahead and eat the whole jar.  I know if I have one spoonful the entire jar will be gone.  That canNOT happen again.

Okay... Long Island, here I come.  I feel like I'm going to be so embarrassed like my family is expecting me to be like anorexic thin and I'm still a fatty fat fat fatty.  AGH!

Can't stop eating

I feel fat.  Like my stomach will not go down.  What I ate today:

Breakfast

Special K w/skim

Fat free Activia 70 cal

Tall skim double latte 150 cal

Lunch

I was totally pressured into eating by the lady I work for

6 healthy nuggets... roughly 250 cal

Ketchup agh maybe 2 tb

Mozzarella stick I think 120 cal

Some red pepper

Some grapes

1/2 cup Ben and Jerrys froyo 180 cal

Snack

Strawberries

Some cantaloupe hardly any

One bagel bite

Dinner

Smart Ones 290

Whole wheat pita 140

Yogurt w/granola 200

No gym today... but it was a gor-ge-ous out today and apparently their apartment building has a playground so I took them out to play for like an hour and 15 minutes.  We played an intense game of tag and I made sure to actually run during it.  We also had a push up contest.  I did 20 (2 sets of 10).  Leila made sure to do 21.  Biotch.  I also did a lot of arm work while I watched them on the play... I did that thing where you put your legs out and like dip bending your arms.  Then I did it the other way like doing some chest presses.  Oh yea we also did like 50 jumping jacks.  Leila wanted to have a sit up contest but that's where I drew the line.  So at least I got some kind of exercise today.

I was supposed to hang out with this guy and we were going to smoke but I told him to forget it.  He wasn't gonna make it here til 9:30 (CPT that means 11 earliest) and I have to make it to the gym tomorrow and then write like 4 papers and I knew that would never happen if I smoked.  Plus I didn't want to smoke outside because someone got mugged outside my building last week so the po has been patrolling like crazy and I definitely didn't want to smoke in my room or have him in my room at all.  And my VH1 reality shows are on tonight.  I'm such a loser.  But at least I'm a loser that's not getting high.  

There is pizza in my refrigerator and it is KILLING me trying to resist eating it.  My roommate offered some to me yesterday.  I looked it up....  it's 360 for one slice.  Is it worth it?  I ate SO much today but I'm still hungry.  Like even after that dinner my stomach is growling.  And a freakin apple is not going to cut it.  OMG I can not eat that pizza.  I want it sooooo bad.  Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. 

I didn't eat the pizza.  I had 120 cal worth of raisins and I'm about to eat an orange.  Why am I so hungryyyyy?  I'm gonna try chugging some water.

Okay I have now updated this like 5 times.  I ate the orange.... AND a bowl of Special K............AND a Fiber One bar.  What is wrong with me?

All dressed and nowhere to go

Katie -

I'm pissed.  I got all ready in my slutty dress and now I don't even think I'm gonna go out.  The one coworker I was depending on to go out so I wouldn't have to go out by myself with the other idiot coworker now is going home.  So I've been dressed for like an hour and have just been laying here starring at the ceiling.  I'm waiting to hear from another friend... not a friend... a friend of the idiot coworker who wanted to hang out cause now it's late and I don't want to be walking around here by myself so I want him to come get me but now I haven't heard from him either.  Agh.  I should just go to bed.  What a waste of makeup.

I went to the gym this morning.  Was too tired to make it to the first class but I went to the second.  I felt like it was a waste of time.  That teacher seriously makes everyone do these gyrations and basically hump the ball and the air the entire time.  In addition to not wanting to hump anything in a room full of 40-60 year old Latina women, I didn't feel like it was working my abs at all like it was allegedly supposed to.  I then did 30 minutes on the treadmill... burned 300 cal there.  

What I ate:

Breakfast

South Beach protein bar 140 cal

Lunch

Veggie burger 110 cal

Whole wheat pita 140 cal

One slice munster freaking 86 cal... I should have checked the cal before I ate it duh

Yogurt with granola like 110 cal

Snack

Mozzarella stick

Banana

Dinner

4 healthy chicken nuggets 200 cal

Cantolope

A bite of organic ravioli 

Wow I don't know what to do.  I don't know if I should just put on my pajamas or continue to wait here with my slutty dress on.  I don't have a full length mirror so I have to take pics of myself.

   

I guess I'll save it for this party I have on the 17th.  My horoscope said "Prepare to have something rock your world on the 17th."  I'm prepared.

Agh this SUUUUCKS...  putting on my pjs like a loser.

Kate

P.S. I sat home and rotted and ate.  Bowl of Special K, yogurt, South Beach bar.  De to the pressed

Survived through 2 classes

Dear Katie,

I did two classes this morning!!!!!!!!!  First one was Triple Fat Burner and the second an abs class.  My ear got clogged again at the beginning of the first class and I almost stopped... but didn't.  Woohoo.  I just ignored it and pushed through.  

Then I went to work... bought some clothes while I waited for my girl at her appointment.  Trying clothes on is fun now haha.  Well no not entirely.  It'd be funner if I actually had money.  I got a pair of skinny jeans... size 7 (did you know odd number sizes mean they're for juniors?)... they're too big in the waist... but they were awesome and the only ones they had so I got them.  And I got a totally slutty dress that I'm going to rock out and act like a total slut tomorrow.  I'm going to ACT like a slut and flirt with lots of boys... not be a slut.  I need a date for this f-ing wedding.  ANYWAY... I also took a short walk through Central Park... maybe 15 min.  Now I'm going to sit on my ass and watch tv the rest of the night.

Have you ever seen the commercial... I think it's for Nutrasystem... with the guy and he goes, "Do you want big pants?  Try this diet!"  It bothers me tremendously.  Why would you want big pants?  Wouldn't the goal there be to just be able to wear a smaller size pant?  I'm gonna write them a letter.

I am sooo gassy.  I googled reasons for being very gassy.  I learned A LOT about farts.  www.heptune.com/farts.html VERY interesting stuff.  I wanted to know if the gas was brought on because I've been working my abs more.  But no... there doesn't seem to be a correlation between getting tighter abs and gas.  Nor is there one between weight loss and gas.  Disappointing.  

What I ate today:

Breakfast

Fiber One bar 140cal

Lunch

Amy's Organic Lasagna 310

Banana

Snack

Apple

Wheat Thins reduced fat... way too many.  

Dinner

Whole wheat pita 140 cal

One grilled chicken breast

Like 1/2 cup 2& cheese

Like 1/4 cup bake beans

I am stufffffed.  Probably all the wheat thins.  Dammit.

I'm shooting for two classes at the gym again tomorrow.  I took Sudafed to hopefully combat any ear popping issues tomorrow.  They're making me feel buzzed....so I'll fall asleep nice and early.  Still mad gassy....almost to the point of ridiculously gassy. 

47 dayssssssss!

One,

Kate

Coughing is a good ab workout

I just got back from the gym. I did 40 mins on the treadmill at the highest hill setting.. The incline ranged between 9.0- 13.5. But I walked at a normal pace bc I wanted to take it slow while I'm still coughing my lungs out. Anyway, I burned 400 cal.

What I ate:

Breakfast:
- 1/2 fiber one bar

Lunch:
- A Roly Poly rolled sandwhich on a whole wheat tortilla .. It has a chicken salad like mixture in it w/ romaine lettuce, basil, tomatoes, avacado and pinapple. The mayo in the chick probably isn't good for you, but they kind of jipp you on the chicken anyway, so there isn't that much of it. Oh my God I need to learn to shup up. Why are you still reading this?
- bag of baked lays

Post workout snack:
- pbutter toast

Dinner:
... havent had it yet, but I'm going to this place that has a really good grilled chicken ceasar sandwich. and I'll get a side salad with it instead of a mound of delicious fries. ugh I hate my life.

Okay no I don't hate my life, but why can't I just be skinny and eat french fries all day?

Happy Friday!
-Katie

Ohh Thursdays....

So no gym today... Thursdays are my day at the elementary school.  This fucking kid ran from me.  Agh so he comes into his music class late like a maniac flailing his arms and then sits and immediately gets up and is like "I'm going to the bathroom" and I'm like "You can't just come in and out as you please and he's like "Yes I can" so I got up like I was gonna kick his ass and he just took off running.  And then I was walking to his main classroom to tell his teacher and I see him down the hall and he's fucking laughing and like taunting me and I'm like "Keep laughing when security comes for you" so he just took off running again.  I realized I can never wear heels to this school... in the event I need to run after another little mother fucker.  Anyway this has nothing to do with my weight loss... other than he raised my blood pressure so much my heart was pounding and I swear I thought of you in that moment cause I felt like I just ran 10 minutes on the treadmill I was so worked up and wished I wasn't wearing heels cause I would have run after him and caught his ass and that would have been my workout of the day.   You would not fucking believe the shit that goes down at this school.  I think the principal who placed me in this class is trying to scare me out of teaching.  But she doesn't know how hardcore I am.

Anyway what I ate:

Breakfast

Total Raisin Bran w/skim 200ish cal

Lunch

Apple

Fiber One bar 140 cal 

(like I said.. teacher's don't get to eat lunch... I was scarfing this down in between giving like 100 high 5's to this boy who had to stay in from recess to take reading quizzes and he kept getting 100s so I kept dishing out the high 5's...  high 5's are a wonderful teaching tool)

Snack

Baked Lays 130 cal

Fruit Snack 200 cal (I thought it was 80 but then I looked at the serving size and it was 2.5...fuckers)

Dinner

Two veggie burgers 220 cal

Whole wheat pita 140 cal

Like 2 cups of brown rice

One tbsp ketchup

1/2 tbsp mayo

Oh yea I bought an iron before my class and then fucking left it in my classroom and realized this the minute I got home so I literally ran back to school.  Not the whole way... But I must have ran for two straight minutes.  So that was something.  

I really really really really really really really want to do two classes at the gym tomorrow.  Really really really badly.  I believe I can I believe I can.  I probably won't.  We shall see.

I self edit my posts; does that make me totally lame?

So I woke up really late, once again.. My body needed the sleep. The medicine I got worked really well, and I just took the day dose, so I feel much better than I did last night. Let's hope this continues for the rest of the day! I need to work out bc I'm fat!!!! I'm thinking subway for lunch, so I'll update you a bit later.

-kt

Don't dog the post! I wasn't done yet!!!

Thought I could work out today , but nope. I still fill ill (I spelt that like a Southerner would say it, get used to it Kate)

This is what I ate:

Breakfast:
-Fiber one bar

Lunch:
- R. fat cheese its
- Tortilla chips and cheese dip.. it actually wasn't too bad for one serving (which was one ounce.. who the fuck does that?? I know how much a tablespoon and a cup are, but an ounce?? well, I didnt eat that much of it.)
- a dipped granola bar
.... This is the worst excuse for a lunch, but I thought I could eat lunch over there and save some money (I'm horrible, I know, but they ended up jipping me out of like 15 bucks this week, so I don't feel bad. Plus, when you babysit, the parents always say "help yourself," but I bet they don't expect me to eat a truckload of food like I usually do. Wow, this is a long parenthetical thought...) but that didn't work out bc they apparently haven't been to the grocery store in a while.

Dinner:
- Grilled cheese with lowfat cheese and whole wheat bread (about 200 cal)
- Soup (320 cal)

I'm probably going to have something sweet too. Maybe a granola bar or some yogurt. I really really hope I can go to the gym tomorrow. Wow, I can't believe I just thought that sentence. Weird. I mean, I still don't love the gym-- it's definitely still a love/hate relationship-- but I like at least having the choice of whether to go or not. When you're sick, you really don't have a choice. And I feel like I'm just getting fatter. What happened to the days when you got sick and didn't want to eat anything and you lost like 5 lbs? Seriously. This cold is total bullshit. It would be totally fine, and awesome (!) if it were accompanied by some weight loss.

By the way, this blog has made me realize that I type with a shit load of rambling side notes. ..

-Katie

Sick as Shit

There's some more alliteration for you Kate. So yeah, as you know, I'm sick. I thought it was just allergies, but nope. It's a fucking cold. And I really hate that I don't even have a choice about the gym. Yesterday I thought I could go today, but I felt worse today. I dragged myself out of my bed and got some new medicine. I even asked the pharmacist which cold med to get, and he told me the one I was planning on getting. So anyway, I had a random food day. I would write what I had yesterday, but I'm starting to get droopy. The nighttime medicine is kicking in. ..

Lunch: (skipped breakfast bc my sick ass was still in bed)

-A tiny bit of John's mom's mexican lasanga
-A 99c. bag of Sunchips.. it was big so I probably shouldn't have eaten all of it but i did.

Later, while I was babysitting I was still hungry. I tried to eat an apple, but it tasted old, so I ate:
- handful of reg. potato chips
- two girl scout cookies
... I know.. but there was seriously nothing! I was going to make a piece of p.butter toast, bc I knew that would fill me up, but they're out of pb.

Dinner:
- can of potato soup (320 cal)
- 2 lowfat eng muffins with lowfat cheese (260 cal)
- dipped granola bar (130 cal) (yes. it's "dipped" in chocolate. but this is my new way to try to tame the fucking "cookie monster" in me. at least it's granola. small steps, Kate.)

I want to comment on all of the hilarious shit that youve been posting, but it's going to have to wait til tomorrow.. im serously crashing

-katie

I almost got a burrito today

But I refrained.  I seriously had the phone in my hand to dial the place to have it ordered and just couldn't go through with it.  I was feeling like shit all day and like my automatic response to feeling like shit is to eat shitty food to somehow make myself better.  But I thought about how my exercise and activity (or lack thereof) for the day definitely would not have come close to having burned what the burrito would have cost me.  

I went to the gym this morning.  I did the Total Body Workout class.  There is this teacher... I've mentioned her before.  She's newish and totally totally kicks your ass the whole time... people always leave early cause she's so hardcore.  She was the teacher during the class (or two) that I totally broke down during.  So since I'm over my cold which held me back from putting 100% in her class last week and since the week before I left (but went back) due to my not being able to control my tears I really really wanted to prove to her...and myself... that I could hack it in her class.  But like half way through my eye clogged.  Fucking sinuses.  And I couldn't unclog it.  It totally threw off my equilibrium and I felt really REALLY dizzy which made jumping up and down on the step near impossible (I fucking HATE the step HATE HATE HATE it!).  Oh and before the class I was early so I did 70 crunches on my own.  

What I ate today:

Breakfast

Total cereal with skim 200 cal

Lunch

(not good)

Salad with thousand island 1tb 

Like a cup... or 1.25 cup of pasta salad

3 plantanos (I wanted something fried and figured its a fried fruit so I let myself do it)

Dinner

Amy's Organic broccoli and cheese pot pie 470 cal

Snack

Yogurt w/granola 180 cal

Eesh... I didn't eat so great today.  Especially on top of the fact that besides the gym I laid in bed alllll day.  My head started pounding because of my sinuses.  Damn you, Spring.  

I need to get my act together.  I really want to start doing two hours at the gym.  Oh yea!  I weighed myself and I'm down to 145.  So that "fucking three pounds" is now "fucking five pounds."  I looked up what it means when you're exercising and not losing weight.  Everything was like "Are your clothes fitting better?" and I was like "Yea totally" and it says that that means I'm gaining muscle.  And that the scale is not a good way to measure weight loss.  That makes sense... but still.  I want my numbers besides my inches to drop.  It also said that the first month or two the numbers on the scale might not go down but then after that they should.  So I'm hoping they do.  I am so fucking scared I won't be in a bikini in six weeks.  FUCK