blah blah blah

FUCK IT. If I have chocolate everyday, then oh fucking well. And I'm going to say fuck in every sentence in this post.

I'm really sorry that I've been fucking up on this blog thing. It was just so fucking hard to get back into it. Okay the fuck has got to stop I'm annoying myself.

There is no way I'm going to put everything I ate last week. Let's just say it was bad. And I only worked out twice. And it was in the same day so that doesn't really count. Today I went to climb the mountain and that is a KILLER workout. And we are going to do climb it when you come, and you are going to hate me, but then you'll like it.

Okay I don't want to type anymore. I ate some sweets and some other stuff but nothing too bad.
I'm on the phone with you. BYE!

You know what sucks??

... Amy fucking Winehouse has a better body than me. Now that's bad.

(just had to tell you that. more later, promise.)

`

We are so dropping the ball with the blog.  I don't like that.  I've been drunk for the better part of the past three days so that's my excuse.

Anyway...  I'm still on Spring Break and still using that as an excuse to be eating badly.  Im not even eating badly....just eating A LOT.  Thurs was ridiculous I just ate allllll day with the kids I babysit.  Then I went out to dinner with my roommates.  I had a chimichanga and three margaritas... but don't worry... I threw almost all of that up.  

Yesterday

Breakfast

Special K Bar 180 cal

Lunch

Salad... walnuts, cucumbers, avacado, grilled chicken, Russion

Some grapes

Oh shit.... I didn't eat dinner.  Well I guess I had three glasses of wine for dinner.  Damn.

Today 

Breakfast

Total w/2%  220ish cal

Lunch

Lean Cuisine pizza 310 cal

Snack

South Beach Protein 140

Activita Light 70

Okay I have to write this so I don't forget it.  I just had a realization.  I feel like I've had several major realizations since our first conversation about starting this whole thing (I think that would be considered as the first realization).  I was looking at the pictures of myself from last night and looking at how long my hair is.  I "bobbed" my hair in the summer of... I'm trying to think...  2007.  And it looked horrible.  It did.  One of my reasons or excuses for doing it was that I was going to donate it.  But when I went ot the dresser he said it was so damaged that they wouldn't take it.  And my brother donated his hair years ago and I remember there were a lot of restrictions.  But I cut it anyway and I am happy that I did because it's all one color and my natural color at that (I have been dying my hair since I was like 11) and it was all healthy and Margie, the woman whose wedding I'm in (OMG DID I TELL YOU THE UPDATE WITH THE COUSIN?)  I am basically just rambling.  I just smoked.  Whatever.  It's my last night of Spring Break and I was going to go out... omg I had three opportunities to go out tonight and I never have one opportunity and I didn't take any of them and I'm staying in smoking by myself and watching bull shit TV and RAMBLING here!  OMG this is kind of embarrassing.  Whatever back to my story.........   I put bobbed in quotations because it was longer than a bob but above my shoulders.  It was basically really dyky looking.  I'll find a pic and put it here.  ANYWAY!  What my realization was was that I look and feel so much more beautiful with long hair.  And it took a really long time for my hair to finally be long again.  And so I wonder if subconsciously I was making myself ugly.   Like...  I didn't get fat by accident (sounds like something I learned from Biggest Loser, probably did) and I made my hair really ugly.  Like... did I do it on purpose?  To punish myself?  Because I was so miserable with my life?  And like now I'm making it better.  Because I am happier.   Or am I happier than my hair is longer and my weight has nothing to do with my happiness?  I doubt the latter.  I don't know.  But things are good.  OMG what if something is horribly going to go wrong.  And my world wasn't rocked on the 17th thank you very much, AOL Free Weekly Romance Horoscopes.  Thanks for nothing.  

I heart the elliptical

Katie-

Seriously... I don't know what changed... but I really love doing the elliptical.  It's FUN!  And I feel like it's working my entire body.  Like I feel like everything on my body jiggles and hopefully the fat is being jiggled away.  

YESTERDAY

I went to the gym...  I did 30 minutes on the elliptical burned 300.  Then did some random arm work with dumbells and 100 crunches.  Then I did another 30 on elliptical... another 300.  Over 4 miles all together.  

What I ate:

Breakfast

Fruit

Lunch

Whole wheat pita 140 cal

Broccoli, cauliflower, some carrots steamed with a little evoo and salt

Cheese 100 cal

Blue cheese dressing 60 cal

Snack

South Beach protein bar 140 cal

Dinner

Amy's Organic Lasagna 310

Whole wheat pita 140

Snack

Finished the jar of the peanut butter.  NOT buying another jar unless a special occasion calls for it.

Some fruit

Bowl of Total 200ish cal.  

I think that's it.  I hope that's it.

OMG I was watching Biggest Loser and SOBBING last night!  I want Ron's other son to lose his weight so bad.  He can do it!  He just doesn't know it!  There NEEDS to be a follow up with him.  He should be on the next season.  I should be his partner.

Oh YEA...  I went to Modells yesterday to get those velcro strappy weights to tie on my arms while I'm on the treadmill (now elliptical)....  I didn't get 'em... but I did get a Solar Belt.  What's a solar belt?  Well...  it's basically a gertle you tie around your waist and it's supposed to work with your body temperature and make you sweat from your middle helping you to lose inches.  It's almost definitely total bull shit...BUT... it improves my posture soooooo much.  It's so weird.  I have been wearing it all day last night and all day today.  I feel like I'm standing properly for the first time ever.  And it does make my stomach sweat... but I don't really think that's doing anything...except being gross.  I ALMOST bought this RIDICULOUS suit... like an MC Hammer kind of deal that is supposed to make your whole body sweat... but I didn't want to be not only the 'the white girl' at the gym but 'the white girl in that ridiculous sweat suit' so I didn't get it.  But I really heart the Solar Belt.

TODAY

Okay I overslept this morning...  was going to go to classes but didn't.  Now I am draaaaaaaagging myself to the gym cause I won't be able to go tomorrow.  I'm going shoe shopping first.  

What I ate

Breakfast

Fruit (kiwi, grape, pineapple, strawberries)

FiberOne bar 140

I'll update later.

I curse you, Easter....

...damn your bunny and his chocolate.  During Easter dinner I turned to my mom and said, "I seriously think I gained five pounds from being home this weekend," jokingly...when sure enough, I get on the scale yesterday and I have gained....five..... pounds.  I'm not going to dwell on it.  The whole time I kept telling myself, 'I am home...I am on vacation...I don't want to be deprived.' With baskets of candy randomly placed throughout my grandmother's house, I found myself totally eating mindlessly.  Like I would just keep popping Dove eggs or mini Kit Kats into my mouth.  And in my mom's house....agh....  Apparently she gets zeppolis everyday with her lunch.  Tell me you know what zeppolis are.  I think they're my favorite thing in the whole world.  Well my third...bagels, french fries, zeppolis.  I think like 3 zeppolis have a days worth of calories.  Well....  Friday night....  I had EIGHT!  And I didn't get to the gym at all.  I didn't do any exercise except for a short walk.  I feel super gross.  Okay... I'm not going to dwell I'm not going to dwell.  Now I'm back in the city and back on track.  I seriously had to leave Long Island just because it was throwing off my routine so much.   

I'm off from school until next week and I have the next two days totally free before I start work.  Yesterday I went to the gym... didn't go to classes because I went in the afternoon.  But, hey!  I LOVE THE ELLIPTICAL!  I don't know what happened.  I did the treadmill for a half hour or so...burned like 300 cal.  Then my ankles started hurting so bad so I got off but still felt like I wanted to keep working out so I was like, I'll get on the elliptical and die after ten minutes and then go home.  I started doing it and I didn't feel like dying this time.  It was way easier.  I think it was cause I totally relaxed my body and let it just flow with the step things.  That doesn't make sense.  But I heart it....

What I ate yesterday

Breakfast

Fruit (strawberries, grapes)

Activia no fat 70 cal

Snack

Large iced coffee skim one sugar

Lunch

Whole wheat pita 140

Veggie burger 110 

Dinner

Amy's Organic enchiladas 260 cal

Pineapple

Snack

One Dove egg

Apple with the peanut butter (I need to finish this jar which obviously won't be difficult.... I just can't have this in the house)

Okay I'm off to the gym now....  then clothes shopping... I was up all night thinking about going and was so so so excited I couldn't sleep... that's ridiculous :-D

Hey Kate!

Hope you're enjoying your Spring Break. And you should be proud that your mom said good things about the way you look. She didn't have to say anything. You look awesome and you know it. Look how far you've come!

So I'm about to go work out. I'm gonna try and exercise for a long time bc I'm going to eat dinner with John's family tonight. I'm gonna do the elliptical (you made me realize I've been spelling it wrong, opps) for 10-15 mins and then the treadmill for at least 35. Then crunches.

Here's what I ate:

-PButter sandwich
- R. fat cheese its

(okay, blame it on my limited funds on why I've been eating the same thing. I'll work on it :)

I'll try to update later. If I don't get to it tonight (I'll be at John's and he doesn't have the internet), I'll do it tomorrow.

Stupid Ear!

It has been clogged up for three days. I don't know what to do. I've tried the ear cleaner stuff that the pharmacist recommended and sudafed (also recommended), and none of it has worked. I know its not an ear infection, bc it doesn't hurt. ugh, it's soo annoying. I can hear every breath I take, and every crunch I eat. Wow, that's like a song. ... a really lame song.

Lunch:
- Pbutter sandwich with r. fat pb and whole wheat bread
- R. fat cheese its
- 2 strawberries and 2 pieces of pineapple.

I'm going to work out this afternoon. My arms hurt from the weights I did yesterday. My shoulder popped earlier and it was like the best feeling in the world. Weird. I'll update more later. Oh and I'm gonna go eat a granola bar so add that. Bye!


Update:

Okay, I didn't work out. Just didn't feel well. I'm still stuffy and headache-y. I'm beginning to think it's the pollen and not still a cold.

Dinner:
- Pbutter sandwich
- Rfat cheese its
- one bite sized twix and one bite sized kit kat

Later I finished the 1/2 bag of baked lays from Monday night. I can't believe I ate the same thing for lunch and dinner. Pathetic. That is one way to gain weight. I read somewhere that eating the same shit will make you gain. Boo.